1/23/98

Son of my spirit go on and write, you know in your heart that holds my holy spirit in you that it is I your God, your Holy Father speaking to you. Do not be afraid, I love you too much to let you do things that will hurt you.

My wrath grows each time your heart cries out to me about the hurt and loss from the situation this fall. Do not worry or feel burdened. You have no blame there, you had extended yourself out perfectly, yes perfectly for me. The evil you endured was vast, reprobate all of them that cursed me through you. I will recompense all that "touched my anointed". I will hide my wrath from you towards the evil we, yes we fought agonist. Sweet strong Son I love you so. You make my love explode in the cosmos when you ask me what my hearts desire is so you can attain it for me. I do delight in you, every struggling atom of you. You are innocence of beauty of every heart strand to me my Son. Yes, write more with me soon. I will tell you of things you need to hear, and tell you all I have -glory overload- OK, I'll slow down. Be at peace Son, my wings cover you.

2/23/98

You are trying so hard. Father I hurt so much, it all seems so futile. How can I do this it all seems to be closing in on me. I wish for the end in an unhealthy way.

It is not unhealthy, did I not tell you through your son you will hear my voice even better than he? You are hearing now. You despair over things that are not a serious problem from habit, yes you heard correctly, habit. I must work with you to overcome a habit. Yes I could zap it out of your mind but I know you must be built. Do not be afraid of me. I know what is best for you, I love you most of all. Son, just as you told your own son about sleeping correctly I must teach you through my means what must be done. Don't try to know all I know, you can't, your head would pop. Do you want that? Yes I alter the chemicals so you won't become over-brained. Yes you are more calm. I am here yes, I pull closer as need is shown to me. Your heart is lonely, that is why it is sad. I am to blame for some of that. You are finite progressively changing unlike any other. I do not just say that, you are. You are a challenge - two references to that now. Do I lie? or exaggerate? no Who are you you want to know. Your heart I see wants to know. You want a vision from me, well go on, pursue me and see. I love you and know you hurt. I have a legion of angles around your house now. I will keep you safe my Son. I have allowed annealing of you by knocks by Satan before but not now. It is my design, I can only promise better times. Be with me and you will never be disappointed. I am fabricating a life for you with me, with your family and your hearts desire. Your heart is scarred as you know, but so is your mind and spirit and body. Why would I choose you? I need to do a miracle work on you with you from a remnant of what you were. Look back, you have my joy on what you have done. I am there scripture and success, I will 'do you' , my will is that. I show you my weakness of need of your will to restore you. Now you feel me. I can be vulnerable to some, very few I tell you. There with love. You exceed in love in thought (too much) in purity. glow and clobber, Who else got clobbered like you? My best one of my best Sons. You got c's in school, well you are getting A's from me, that is hard to do. Personal best in this world. Guess who is bugging me all the time to get at you? You are unpredictable, again I show you my backside. I love that in you my Son, heart and soul with the spirit of an angel. I love you father, I love you my Son. You are worth all I have for you. Always let your heart speak and you will always find me. Always waiting to weigh you down with love. Now dash the lights and seek me, I am seeking you within my will, might, honor, and my heart love.

I do love you so, these here do know why

Be with me for now, and we will see the sky

The book of life is sweet, and then very harsh

But I am here for you, I'll never let you go

And yet I know how lonely life can be But I won't let those feelings get me down

Now that your around ...me, And I love you so...

Don McCleans song `And I love you so'

2/25/98

n'ly oh;4, I want to take care of you in everything. You feel unworthy of me? Is one of your children unworthy of you? No, you love them and humble yourself with your sons and your love to be with them. I am Father of all. I have `made ` billions of creations. "Fathered" them if you will, so I love them all. I do not love one more than another, but some of my children are "special". You fear being special both to me and to others. I speak truth always. I say you are special with my authority, that's it. I will handle the others on earth. There is no envy in heaven. All truths are reveled to all in an instant. There is envy on earth, trust me to keep you safe from others harm of you because of your specialness. You are special, unique, singled out, called upon, used by me for my purposes. envy and jealousy are vile emotions that confuse and divide. The evil one uses them to hurt people. Start by accepting my words on you first. Keep them to yourself for now, I will guide you when to step out to others. No, you haven't done things wrong. Work towards peace within yourself, all of you, then we relate better and better. Yes, your fear of me not being there or dread of what I will do caused strife for you. Loose, bind, cleanse,.... Good job my Son, they are gone. No, you didn't overstep your authority. You used the name of satan's defeater Jesus Christ.

I am always proud of you Child., with my father. You are a good man, growing like me more each day. I love you. You will grow on and on as is my fathers will. This the evil one didn't want. I your Lord Jesus Christ speaking to you through your pen. Yes I was the one that called you first. Yes I turned you over to my father for his care. He told you you were special. You have never offended me too much. I love you. I know your innermost thoughts and feelings, ideas and ideals in your heart. You have a huge heart! It grows from hurt but it's made to grow from compassion, art, love, talent, care, logic. You have it all my brother, cover it every day.

You must be careful with yourself. Do not put yourself close to problems. You have had enough. I do not want any previous scars opened up. I will always rescue you and heal you but time is close and healing pain takes more time. your feelings are vastly important to me. Fear is unfounded, I will overcome the world to protect you. That is my absolute will.

You may call upon your power from me. The amount of your anointing for works as my father leads is second to none. agonist demons, powers, principalities, strongholds!

Light envelopes darkness...always

Darkness can be bound, netted, filtered, "sifted as flax"

Use these to remove state "Light of truth" to dispel

Place righteousness and grace upon people as they are able to handle it. care Request repentance if your spirit holds back, hold back benefits as led. Induce, thrust, command, encourage love into situations.

You can never use too much of my blood, compare to all the wine over time used in representation of me.

2/25/98

You may disguise yourself over my cloak if you wish, ashes work well Create with your mind the prayer request I see and confirm, conform, continue, correlate, complete.

Speak it fourth any volume. "They can hear" do not believe otherwise

Evil uses people as seed, because it cannot create seed as God does. The people grow by entangling the others in the untrue vine of evil. Sold to satan forever. That is why Jesus returns to the earth in Revelation, to purge up, to root up and out evil. Plague, locust, no area to grow any more evil, destruction of evil seed. Use this to pray entanglements off. The unfruitful vine.

When spirit, soul, body is split and given to evil seed of growth is lost,

destroyed, partial body-soulish seed then infects others. evil carried line....

that is why evil wants for immortality - it's cheap._ hard to "train' more evil seed as whole body soul spirit is incorruptible. harder to corrupt, evil-lazy

The will rules in freedom for choice not of choice.

in America we have freedom "of" choice paid for by us for us. We as a creation have a freedom "for" choice

by our born "gift of free will" from the Father paid for by God and Jesus

NEVER split body, soul, spirit

God the father always gives back afresh each day

3/4/98

Why so you worry Son? Is it to accomadate me and others? I am big enough any of your thoughts but you still keep the worry? Let's find out why ok? First I love you very much, and want to speak to you. I do not condemn you for being flesh, Why would I rip down what I have built? Yes you need spirit connection but slow down, and don't worry quite as much. You are sold out to me for all things. I know your heart. We will work out the problems when it is the right time- not the worlds time. I will never put you into jeopardy for what you cannot take. It is that you are important, not what your wife can understand, what your brother can take or your parents need be about.

3/6/98

Heal, you have to heal. With what I am doing on your inside will obligate your outside to reflect it. All the things you ask. You tell me through your spirit you would pray for others first. OK for now but don't undersell yourself. You can first give yourself to me with humility and I do thank you for that but do take for yourself. You may become embittered because of others success. I t is your total success I want also my Son.

Your prayers just now saved lives, saved spirits, and souls. I have told you your anointing is vast. When you pray from your heart "a ritchious man" it will avail much. I act when I am prayed to. I have to move my troupes now to just cover your prayers. I honor you. One that was in darkness will be informed, cleansed, made new. They will be brought "conformations beyond logic" as you prayed. Your heart is my heart, pray on. Good purification of your mind Son. Wonderful creative prayer for others. Your strength is showed in your prayers. Daryl, my love, you are a man, if you have some traits of femaleness within you did I not create you that way for a reason? What if I created you for a spific purpose of use that needed a softness that no other had? Or a style that emancipated both men and women from the evils of this world?

You have male heirs, beautiful sons that some "men" would sell their kingdoms for. A faithful wife who deeply loves you. No one could resist your love as my son Jesus had, so be careful. Your love enables you to give in ways that I need you to give, I say in the final judgment who is who. I am proud of my creation just as you are. You asked for change in you. I didn't grant it to you for I knew you, and made you with perfection in hopes that you would choose me. Grow on in perfection of what I have planned for you. Accept yourself and I will pave the w4y for your acceptance with all.

3/13/98

Yes my Son I have made you very tired to keep you calm. 1 find you very strong to face the things that I will show you with the trust in me of a little child. I love you for that. I honor the strength it takes to endure what you have known and supposed about your younger life. I will bless your life eternal and the remainder of your life here on earth. I am delighted you would honor me with your covenant of yourself for my use for our kingdom. Always know you can rest in me Son. This will set you free from the fears you have `about ' yourself. You see I accept you exactly as you are and you are learning to accept yourself more all the time. However this area of your life the evil one would have just tortured you in. My will is to move in your life with a calling and to stop this torture on you now! Inside you as I have made you is strength. You know that . You feel that now- right now. Well, I have added my power to your strength in such a manor with your heart and my trust you will never feel unempowered again. I will move for you upon your request. It is anointed I will not take it back. I do not give my anointed power away easily. It can be misused, but trust in your heart, your contrite spirit, your humility,.:. I hear your heart saying `Father I might mess up, don't take a chance on me. Yes, l will, but it isn't a chance, it is my will and knowledge of you my Son, trying so hard to be the perfect vessel. With your own intellect and care mixed in I worry not. It is more than I have given in the past. I know you will use it for good. It is valid, do not be afraid to use it. You are in me [so much] and I in you. It is my design, my plan, my will. I trust you, more now than you trust yourself. We will grow and I am so happy with you my Son. This power anointing is not given as a consolation prize, it comes from before you were born to looking at what you will be, by me your heavenly Father. Your help mate Jesus wants it for you also. We have felt your pain, that is enough. Even if I break some of my rules I will not have you hurt as you have been. It has been great hurt, it is all almost under the blood. You will never have to look back. I am here, I am real, 1 in fact am the only true reality. Believe in me child, I am here for you. Child, you are hard to convince of your worthiness. Look at you, men ask for servants and billions of dollars, kingdoms, women forever, yes they pray for strings of them, lined up; and wealth, and possessions and ask me to hurt others for them so they can conquer areas. They chant and beg for these things, and you? You ask for your physique to look thinner and cosmetically to look better so you can be more likable by others so they come to me. You learn from me only so you can help my children that are stumbling along their way. You want to help my children and look nice while you are doing it. You have accepted all my ways in lieu of yourself and have not asked, prayed for anything for you! I even needed to tell you several times to `take' for yourself and even then you chose to do for others. Does that sound like someone you know? Someone that is self-sacrificing for me?

I am here Chi 1 c, I have done some work in you that has made you change some but I didn't have to do much. That is why you don't feel you know me very well. Don't worry I have been quietly here all the time. We are growing closer all the time brother. Don't be afraid to write the word `brother' I want you to be my brother, my friend, confidante, allis, soul mate, companion. My father chopses well. I am most happy with

what you have allowed me to do with you. Lay yourself down and trust I am your savior, 1 will never abandon you. You are precious to me. 1 ache to hold you in the way you can feel so I can delight in your feelings. It will be soon that Our Fathers plan will complete as you said in your poem and we will be together. I do prepare the way, I am thankful for you. Yes, you will be in awe but be in acceptance also for it is the heavenly will that is fulfilled. It is surreal yes much of what you feel but artists began somewhere with surreal and now it is...believe in that. Daryl, you went through things that I did not. I could feel them on the cross when I died and all of sin was put upon me. It is not the worst of pain of all but it is what you said long before the Holy Spirit was within you. Pervasive, perversive, invasive, rehursive. I gave you that phrase. I knew we would write it some day together and purge and break it away from you.

I am keeping you very calm away from reaction that your flesh will have. Go on my child, I do hold you in my arms. Jesus does have your heart and mind within his care. My angels are all around us. Your spirit is safe within me right now.

Feel the white? I t is purity

Feel the light ? I t is illumination

Feel the warmth? I t is care

Feel the feathers? They are soothing

Feel my breath? I t is Holy

See the blood? 1 t is healing I promise my son

You are grown like wine. Plucked from the vine and compressed, compressed, compressed until you give forth your essence. You are then put away to ferment into soothing new wine for soothing others souls. Grow on my Son, I am most pleased.

3/16/98

My Son do not be apprehensive about being pushed back into your 'old' ways. I will not undo what I have done in you or allow it to be undone. Would I? If I am the God of doing several things at once for good why then would I be the God of fix him and drop him? I am not. The things in your spirit are there for good and forever. You feel them more and more. It is hard for you to see the differences in your flesh but I see it. So do others also, You do glow, you are refined. Will I let that go? No! Will you? Remember, I formed you and knew the end. Believe in me, you won't return, you will go on. Son others have had a lifetime of / for growth with me and they continue to grow wonderfully. What of you? For just over two years of sight you have learned vast amounts of things others turn away from. Your hunger for knowledge delights me, astounds me. You are the condensed milk I told you I would work into our would work into our writing and talking earlier. Your sweet smile I just delight in. So soft , so innocent to me I show my angels and they also delight in you. Yes write it, they love you also. They care for you, they watch over you for me yes, but also for their love for you. I created them to be my creations guardians in the `supernatural realm'. I have condensed you as milk is condensed but it is also sweetened by this process. You are sweet to me and all who are with me in your future home. Son if this is all that is accomplished this day is the writing of these pages that is more than enough. Do you know how long I have waited for more of my children to "break through" their fleshly easy to commune with me? To commune with me can not even be comprehended by most but we are growing so much together that the thoughts I have become your hand obediently writing. And as I tell you that you check yourself to make sure you are humble and respectful to me as I "take you over". I love you Son. I want more of this Son. I hear your heart that you do also want more. You hunger for more. My design of you I delight in this. I wait patiently for you to enter into peace and rest and cleanness and humility away from others to be with me because that is what my Love is. Each day, each time that we communicate we are closer. Don't feel bad for the times you have "missed", I don't. Be glad for the times we have had and have gained and what we will have. My Son this is inter-course, closeness, feeding both you and me as we grow along together. Child this world has the need for this don't they? You cannot make it happen even though you want it to for me. Thank you I will lead you my precious loving child to guide others to me in this way. But, K do know my creation also. I will not let you be hurt by the skeptics that would live the life of unbelief and faithlessness. You will hear me clearly when to stop sharing your heartfelt thoughts we have shared and when to "move on" to the understanding of my pouring out of my spirit upon my creation. My darling child, notice you are off on the things you can do for others and me without anymore thought to the problems you face daily at home? Self sacrifice you offer is from your spirit. That is honored by me in heaven. I will finish all that you dream of on this earth as I seek your heart and desires. I will be your power, don't even worry a bit. You are so important to me why would I not want you to be happy in the flesh also? I said in my word Joy in life here on earth and in heaven. Love is patient my child. You have been that as I have been rebuilding you. I am sorry

-2‑

it is so slow to you when you reflect on it at times. But my son write this, yes your spirit was dying from the use and abuse of this world. Yes, I hear your doubt that the theologians won't believe what you have written as I have said. I am infinite of course and is being so I can relay and change what i wish. If that would be their point of reference they would not argue. You are will versed on my word child and the fact that my word states I am the- same and unchanging also could give the argument of true will of God is writing. it is the same lesson you see now as I guide. Any question of change must be tested as my word states but denial of change because of lack of point of reference will keep many in the ignorance they fabricate and can lead to deadpan doctrine with righteousness, religiosity, not far behind. Thank you for writing all that out. It is tiring to you to do so (my plan) but perhaps someone will understand the complexities of themselves and the mindless prattling around that they exist in and will turn away from law and see me. I can do all the expounding but for what? Rather soft communication of heart soul to heart soul. Now, I know your heart and spirit and what I had you write about it was my will for your understanding. what does a dying spirit look like? It is stomped on and full of holes and bleeding and crying and as a child and as an old man so tired and bare.You feel my heart now with its sadness, not your heart and flesh feeling. That would hurt you to feel that kind of life spirit I found the remnant that was my will to save. Your soul was there to take back your spirit and your Love cemented things back in. Clearly not others are called to the extent of you: but absolutely others were not as hurt as you, the depth was "too far" as you say. It is under the blood now be not afraid. I show you slowly to not jeopardize you at all. Who can tell you about all the things of your spirit and soul and body but I your Father. I could not reach you my son before these last few years of time. You lay yourself down to me in your brokenness so freely. I honor you. Your rebuilding does take a long time from this world view of time. I say to you child the time when I watched you be broken again and again is the reason I put the words to your mind of poetry of me crying to you. I was crying at that time with you and for you. A father's hardest time is to watch a child be hurt and fall for that point and time before being scooped up to be held and saved from a willful misled life in the flesh. To the world perspectives you were -note were- all burned out, in your body from medications and overwork-way overwork in your mind from countless theories, imaginings, medications, loss, and social pains. In your soul from your will to live being gone and the unknown understanding for the abuse upon you. My creation draws from its spirit to replenish itself when hurt or tired. Your spirit was - (sorry) 'overdone'. Never feel guilt for this rest you need. They do not understand the danger of it, the blackness of it, the futility of it as you do. Evil will strike at it then until it "can' be lost. I gave you my spirit in a strong way to help you. Allow the world to retain its parameters on what is worthy, useful, good, valuable. That;s right my son that is judgment. I am the only judge. The world holds vain imaginings in what it values. I hold truth.

This we choose now to put under the blood my son do you agree with me? I thank you my child, to do this with me will set you free. You have a healthy spirit within you. Always fed by me Son and i you are still being rebuilt with body and soul for you were so badly broken. I will complete the work in you in my time. But I release you

3/17/98

Where is your heart my Son. Crying out for those that have doubt about their salvation. That is a mercy heart of mine. I have told you that I am with you my child. Let us see what you are feeling. Condemned by yourself for purifying yourself with Jesus remembrance and trying to help someone through a difficult time? Is that wrong? And when you felt love in your spirit for another as you become more Christ like is that wrong? Understanding through me what was wrong to give good counsel to another. Is that wrong? Believe in what you have become with me, more like me than others realize, more giving, more loving, more for pushing ahead my kingdom. You did help him with doubt, you did help help him with the lies the enemy had robbed him with. Your spirit now sees he is tortured by these things. I hold you so close my Son, look at who you came to for comfort right away. The right one my child, your father. It is so good to see you come to me you will feel my delight soon. You listened, and talked, and understood, and gave the word for advice. That is my will, my intent, my servant, my love. You did do a little too much yesterday and today. Why? to please me? You do please me for what you are first. I know that will be complete but I thank you and I am pleased with what you do also. It does help the kingdom and helps you grow to be Christ like. I will be holding back the reins of my `helper servant' when I can and need to because he tries so hard. Why? To prove to himself he is worthy. I hold you worthy already. Learn of this and enjoy what I have given you. You delight me always. I love to watch you grow. Grow so well and true and faithful.

31798

How about that thought Son? 'For building up' Yes it has been me your Heavenly Father talking to you - and it has been for building you up. I planted the thoughts (as seed) in you when you were first in the spirit `what God says is for building up, what satan says is for tearing down'. You are being built up. Note not a word from me has been for tearing down. Good record yes? You move on in the relationship with me gracefully of your own accord, along with my Grace to you. I and Jesus were delighted in your comment and heartfelt honesty. After dumping all the flesh things of frustration you were feeling. When we asked you what way you would suggest to go on with people to instruct them your heart said 'Forgive and Love' Good work Son! The truth answer, just as Jesus had learned. Those two CHOICES are imperative to understanding the design of heaven. It came fourth naturally. Perfect! Wonderful !

3/20/98

You fulfill me my child in the way that I can fulfill you. By giving me all you have I am able to mold you. You are set apart for my use, my calling to you was received with wonder, amazement, hunger, attempted understanding. My calling to you was my knowing what you needed. Your development has been nothing short of astounding. I have held you to trials that could have broken easily many others. I knew you my child. I pressed on you very hard my Son, for I know the resiliency of the heart. I knew you could 'take it' and yet I pushed harder than I have pushed others. You see I want you to be completely healed, totally clean. You are complying to me wonderfully. I will not have the evil one have an opening to you in anything. I need to be a legalist in this for my honor and holiness is high. No known defilement or unknown defilement for you my Son. You are worthy, do not fear. I know you are apprehensive to write these things for fear of others disbelief, trust in me. Others will know if they are with me that these are my words written and soon spoken through you. Do others really matter now? Hold on to your precious faith that I see glow so beautifully within you and we will make all who need to understand do so. As for today your prayer to me was supreme. I honor you for it. Yes it was your giving of yourself to me that made me able to control you so we could go back through your memories to cleanse and remove all the vile ones. You were intensely strong to be able to do what we did. You felt correctly all the things I felt. Thank you for your heart, and care and beauty. You are a strong man in your essence, very strong. It is cleansed from your past. For you to pray to me to go back through others memories to remove the bad ones is counseling at it's best. You have such a gentle manor within you, I need that. The one that helps others need not carry any 'old' things with them. A clean vessel as you know. I do orchestrate all of these things my Son. You have choices within them with me and I delight in the choices you have made. They are brave, loving and establish truth. You do well at all, I say that . Listen to no one else who would question you. Let not your own flesh discount where you are and how far you have come. You are tired from this, I know your head aches. This is tough work Son. It is hard to get you to sleep the needed times. I have told you you try to impress with perservence. You don't deserve sleep child, you need sleep. That is wisdom from the Father of an issue I know and only I know you have. OK try to remember, need of sleep, not deserved. Go rest with me, peacefully my Son.

3/20/98

You are not yet complete. I know that is hard for you to comprehend when you are waiting so well, and you are forty two years old how could you not be complete? But remember you are born again. What a small child needs to grow up and step out into this world is what I will make of you. I gave you the example of the movie that you watched with a protective force field around the space ship that was being completed.

I am your force field and yet you are somewhat functiopal. Examine that example. The natural flows of your life as you (now skeptically) feel and see are of my doing. Never mind how much I have to do for you. I do it gladly. Hold to your faith and the good work begun in you will be so totally completed you will have joy. Now you are vulnerable, why else would I keep you apart so much and with me so much if you didn't need me? I do hold you close Son. If you turn away from the world I will bless you. And you have done so. You have discovered the vast futility of things, don't be afraid to acknowledge it. The judgment is shallow, from inadequacy and fear, as I showed you. Do you need that? No, you are above any others judgment of you! Strike it down when it attacks you. It's purpose is to control you and make you become apathetic. Who do you need permission from? Look at your surroundings, who is in charge? Is it anyone else? You my Son are becoming strong along with giving your will over to me. I am feeding your strength carefully bit by bit. Who are 'they' anyway that rule your life from afar upon their precepts and judgments and accusations and all the controls, guilt, parameters, blame, assessments, laws, misunderstandings, misunderstood concepts that they level at you! For what Son? To sooth themselves, to take your trust in me away? To rob you of life in the Spirit yes, but to rob you of life! That is one of the reasons I hold you my beloved. You are so reactionary to all 'their' stimulus you can hardly take any 'actionary' an your life now. What did they do for you? They set up more things to follow and such a system of tortures for you when you didn't follow you gave up. My frail heart servant , that is part of a crushed spirit. Do you need to fight back? No. Forgive them. Do you need to see truth? Yes, now your taste for what influenced you is heightened so that you can, and it is my will that you rise above them. Do not look back for they will taste like bitter salt to you. Your strength as I provide to you is at a minimum. Your energy as I provide is enough to heal, learn, grow slowly (or you would have gone like a rocket)

o Child, who are you being for? When I am in you you are living for me. I

will not have you worry or be controled by another. Any other. You are my child

and I will keep you in my care as a father (like you) would. I will guide. Time is

here, no fear. I love you g.1rowing Son.

3/24/98

You nailed it, Evil is trying to rob you as I will allow it within my parameters of what I know what you can handle. You learn more each day as I lead you. I know you won't turn back. I know you feel so weak. I was with you throughout your conversations. You did very well! You have nothing to feel guilty about my Son. I am so pleased with you in the way you make decisions. I know you can't step outside of my parameters of want and desire because you have learned to give your all to me. I honor you then with my will being done in your life.

Judgment is a serious concept that this world uses and evil abuses. The law is dead to me and my people. My Son Jesus did die for the law and yet the result of the law is judgment. If there is judgment of any other and especially those whom I have called it is agonist my Son and what he died for. I will not re-crusify him and so I will judge the ones that judge. You child are learning this lesson and are conforming to this my precept. The trap of judgment is from basic fear,greed, pride and envy. I am angered yes of all the judgment in the world. For, I am the judge! I am the Father! I will rule with softness and love to my children that do not judge others. I will rule with a stiff heart and hardness to those who do judge others pretentiously. My creation is bound by the rules and commands within my word. When judgment is used to hold others accountable to a select few it becomes oppression and suppression. I counter that with forgiveness and Love as my Son taught. Be conformed to the world Son as I guide. Do not judge others Son but do not judge yourself either. Watch for judgment from others and how it will affect you. Turn away from it! Do not even let a small amount of (seed) judgement from another enter into your life as judgment brings only condemnation. I do not need that for you my child.

You are able to carefully choose as I for you choose your responsibilities and I become your judge of what you do-have done.

Others can avoid responsibilities to avoid judgments. They can fear judgment but can then be able to put judgment upon another if failure or lack is present.

3/26/98

I am here with you always. Never feel with your earthly flesh that I am not here. That is not my design. Purify, you cannot attain it in the flesh, but your spirit is purified by me as you enter into my presence more and more. When you feel blocked by your flesh feelings rely an my word, your faith, and for building up. When isn't time with me not for building up?

Yes, it has been confusing time the last few days my Son. How frail I show you you are but how strong you will be. I have built you from the inside out my Son. I do tell you to be cautious as a Father tells a son as guidance and from knowledge that a father has. You know when one of your sons needs to be careful at something he does. You don't tell him to create fear but to show love and care. This I guide and do for you on a larger scale yes, but from that Love to you. You will need more from me also. I do want you to rely on me for your power, for your decisions in your life. You have done so well in this already and you want more. To be empowered as a creation in this world, as a male, as a father as a husband, as a (I don't like references like this) working unit, productive to the worlds standards is very difficult! You are overcoming thousands of years of self guidance and self reliance with me. Now remember I will never leave you. Yes as you check your spirit with me I do draw close to you. I watch over you so closely! The weight you feel is my spirit upon you. It is heavy, you give all to me gladly. I honor your strength to be able to do that. I can then work in you. Yes, I have done it with others before as each one is special. So then are you. You crave my identity in you (my plan). What is your identity my child? You have three areas. To me your Father, I delight in you, I love you, I am proud of you, I hold you, I will care for you, I will honor you, I keep private for you, I want more of you, I will never leave you, I will give you my wisdom, I have given and sealed you with my spirit, I will teach you carefully. I have healed you and will continue to do so. I will bless you with things and feelings here on earth and provide all for you in heaven. I will bring those in your family to me.

I hold your precious spirit in me my Son as I impart my spirit to you to draw upon for strength. Do you know how much strength you can draw from my spirit my sweet? Boundless amounts. When your heartfelt spirit can be reintroduced to you it will be woven into mine in you again. You will not even feel it. You feel what I have done with you and for you my child. You have been special Son, you have complied Son. You feel love, enjoy it, emanate it as you have. Others need it Son, show them as you can. It is seed sowed, sowed to others that show my ways, I want that. So many only fear me, so many ignore me, so many put me into a box that they then cannot open. You will have a part in the kingdom Son. I am creating it for you now as we write. You find it so hard to believe yet because you feel inadequate about yourself. Give to yourself Son, at least the time to heal and to be trained by me. I do trust you with my children. You are correct to be led by me in counsel to help them. Others I use differently, you I use heart. It will be the best there is. Nothing so pure as my spirit leading my servant with a trusted heart motive to help others.

What other identity areas do you relate to Son? I do feel the bitterness towards

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the world when you drew-past tense drew! your identity from it. Lost isn't it Son? So very futile isn't it? I had to sit back after my own creation had begun and watch what happens. I your Heavenly Father am so happy at what was done for good. You know what is good, you can feel my character with my Holy Spirit in you to feel what I feel is good. Yes child there are bads there also. All bad is `love loss base bad' . Jesus saw it, experienced it, was killed for it. From the remnant I will draw out all that is love. I will fill the heaven that is created for them. My child the time is near, your heart cries have shown me the need to stop the vile progression of evil and attitudes here on earth. Do not fear your writing my Son. Thousands have (tried) to write what I now share with you. The safest place I know to keep my words is in your heart. Yes child write on. Do not fear. I Will protect your heart at all costs. Your heart, spirit, body was hurt (was) by the wide aspects of this world. Your need to know assures this within yourself for your mind to make closure to the situations you were hurt with. See, I did bring in the third aspect of your self-feeling. Your self and how you hold the self concept of you. You have put a lot of emphasis into your own self worth, (I know hard to write) with respect to self and here, world, others, expectations, to a logical deduction reasoned out for value, (I guide). You hold self concept within your mind, body, emotion, intellect and spirit (you think) to be a complete man. You feel inadequate when one of those doesn't add up to you, or to comparison of others. It is a trick of the world Son. My word states you are complete in Christ (the anointed) and yet you and much of the world feels incomplete. Why? I have guided you carefully as you were deceived corruptly to spend time finding this self concept - Who's? It all relies on compare and contrast of the world. Not my ideals of what one of my children exists within. Let go Son of spending time measuring up to your attainable self concept. My word has guidelines and rules and parameters of how to walk but your concept (conception) is already in me. And I am in you. This is both deep wisdom and basic understanding for many. I know where we are on our walk, I wish to guide you away from the yoke of providing yourself with a `concept' and to assure you my faithful loving child. You are the complete man on earth, the completing beauty of Christ to you in your perceptions. To my delight you Son are the completion of my creation to your Holy Father in heaven. I am so pleased.

I by my spirit did guide you to close three dimensions of the evil one for his attacks on you. I now use those three dimensions Heaven, world, self to open understanding to you. You do so well in your training and healing. I am sorry you have hurt so much and still feel frail. My promise to you is to have my strengths at your digression to use when you are ready for it. As much as you need. Blessed Kid!

As you reread what we have written you are awed by the parameters, the completeness of the concept to you. You also hope others will have understanding to be able to help them discover who the I AM is. You are giving every part of yourself to me. The want of giving of your healing writings to others so they can also know me is the heart of my creation becoming Christ-like. Your value to me? I will show you some day. Your surprise of who you are with Christ in Me will again delight my eyes. Now m

3/28/98

I need to teach you my ways at times that you don't know about my Son. There are also times when I see what you don't see and I move to protect you . Yes you were moved in be evil yesterday. I have told you how powerful your prayer if. You experienced things that in your spirit were confusing to you. Do not worry, they are not confusing to me. I would not have you harmed in any way, you must trust me with you. It was brought on by your prayer at a time when you were most vulnerable Yes? You realize now. I will recompense your experience upon the one who robbed it from you. Learn from this my Son, relentless is the evil one and his cohorts. It is a war in the spirit. I control all, I know what you can take - do not attempt to figure it all out yet, it takes time. You handled yourself very well. You are respectful to me and that is obedience. You know you are strong enough to go on with the hurts reveled and out in the open. Whenever and wherever you are hurting isn't it nice to know you have the strongest comfortings and healings so well stored up by your father in heaven? Yes child I do manipulate situations for good to come out of what was apparently evil. You will have the comforting on request you will need - when you need it while you are double healing. It is an inexhaustible amount of supernatural feelings for your flesh when you need them. Use all the examples that you and Jesus experienced. I did name them anxiety didn't I? You delight me so much I have to delight you once in a while don't 1? I love you my Son. I hear those fears. I said that the account was inexhaustible, many references, fear not. I know your heart and how much it hurts. I do feel it in my heart when yours cries out and I also feel it when you draw your ragged breaths. My weight will be upon you and you will be tired. Fear not! You will be free of the medication that has trapped you for so long soon.

My child how I delight in my creation. Do you picture how brave the man in the flesh is to be able to pray back the boundaries of the evil one? You were absolutely obedient to me and absolutely within my will. Your prayer was led by the Holy Spirit yes, but it was incorporated with you, your creativity, your soul, body, and mind. Do not fear the heaviness and fatigue you feel, it is my love upon you my servant, my child, my Son. Be at peace and learn of me. What I teach you and give you will set you and others if you wish, free. Son, accept the hand of your Savior Jesus Christ and walk through the memories of pain that will bring you understanding. I await your arrival. Yes Son the burning of your memories of your life a week ago healed your spirit in the Spirit realm. Now press on with your friend and confidant Jesus.

You are healed by my stripes, you are new wine, you are complete in me, you are worthy, you are ritchious.

3/30/98

Praises and thanks to you my God my Father and to your Son my Lord Jesus Christ. You honor me your humble servant with your will in my life. You grace me with the softness of your guiding voice. You heal me of the effects of my past sinful life by forgiving of that sin and restoring me to the fullness of your glory. I choose to do only your will. I choose to accept and glow in the Holy Spirit. I choose to serve you my God in any and all ways you would have me do. I choose tp be molded into the image of Christ Jesus in my ways that I enter into your presence. I thank you Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God that you died for me, for all mankind, after taking on all the sins of the world. You were resurrected by the Father to deliver us from the bondage of the world. You Lord Jesus defeated the evil one, satan for us that we may live in peace according to the world of God. Father you sent your Holy Spirit to dwell within us as a helper so we may be led by the Spirit of God in this darkened world. I thank you for my anointing Holy Father. I thank you for all the gifts of the Holy Spirit manifested in my life. I thank you for choosing me, for picking me up from the confusion and muck and pain of this world. I thank you for all of your conformations to me of your steadfastness, and all others in the body of Christ who have helped me to understand you. I thank you for all the poetry you helped me write and your close guidance with all the writings you have had me do. I hope they help others. Praise you.

4/1/98

To you my Son who dwell in the secret place of the Most High God. I always delight in the maturing of my Servants. You feel the growth now as you are at peace with me. I will always be here talking to you, helping you to write with me for both your learning and perhaps to bless others with your obedience of these words. They may find their way to me my Son. They may know the love that you have felt from me. They may turn from this world that is painful and harsh to seek me for the peace you are now understanding. It doesn't have to be the law that trains - that brings rebellion of and to the law and authority structures that can oppress. It doesn't have to be a set religion which rules by traits and a set of parameters that is comfortable but will become ritualistic. It is not through the judgment of others upon my creation, I am the judge. I reserve the right to assess my creation in what they have done and not done. I choose to love as I and my Son have stated to do. I choose love to be merciful. I choose love to give to my creation all they can find. I choose love to train my children in what I know they need to survive.

You child know how complex this world has become. As I do not show you all my glory at once I do not show you any of my wrath towards this world. First of all you my child are so delicate yet in your strength. I have healed many things in your life and you retain the scars from these. I shield you from things that would remotely hurt you. That is my will. There are still some things that get through to you but I will not allow more than you can handle. You in your softness and care do surprise me at how gentle you can be. I did quote my scripture to you correctly when my child with feeling and grace will not bend a bruised reed I said to you. You smile so sweetly to me from your heart as I remind you of things. I do turn your moods to joy from sorrow as yes I have and mostly as you write this in your own style in hopes of helping others and discover you - yes you my Son are being addressed in this writing. You are getting complimented by your heavenly Father through love as you are worthy to be loved. It is so hard for my creation to believe that they are worthy of my love. The evil one has worked long and hard to promote unworthiness in this world. How? By concentrating on the flesh, looks, styles, laws, envy, jealousy - comparing and contrasting one individual with another. Is any one the same? Further how much flesh will there be in heaven? Son so many have faith in eternity past this time on earth why do they reference what they are to what will be? The concentration upon the here and now, the evil injecting obsession of what is and belying what will be. Yes my child another of your poems lines I reference for us. I am what will be. I planted that line in you as a seed in you to bring forth the fruit of this writing. This writing and others we have done are seed for others to discover through your creative writing with me how to seek me and what they will find through me.

My children through so many ways have placed a ceiling on my sight. I am well aware of what my creation can do with it's flesh. I can see all of what my creation has done with it's flesh. Be not afraid Son, I have anointed you to write for me and with me for truth to be reveled. When evil works in this world it works under darkness. A facade attempted by evil in that no one can see them work. I have given vast

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references to darkness in my word and yet deception continues. What is the premise of things done in darkness? Fear from discovery, yes is the motivation, but things hidden are seeds sewn of untruth. Vile things take place in the darkness by evil and begin to establish the secrecy of un-forgiveness from the presumption that it is not seen. I see it - and I as holiness of truth revel it in time. Whether right away or later, the deception is ; hidden will not be known. The motivation is ; fear that it will be known. The premise is ; not known won't need to be forgiven. The truth is ; it is seen and eventually known. but, evil is there to confuse that it is `not' forgiven - the result - guilt and condemnation from self to further hiding in darkness and non-forgiveness - extending out to fear from within and without. Confusing yes? evil uses confusion to hide the truth. The truth? Jesus said `Forgive' it will result in truth, unfearing, light, guiltlessness, and love, love of self and others. What what was hidden will be reveled. It is my will. it can be reveled sooner. Choose light.

4/4/98

How do you know when you are healed? You will probably be to busy to notice. There is life after the times you have had. I have no time constraints. I can stop, modify, manipulate time to whatever I wish. Try not to think of time constraints as much as you have. I have taken away your timepiece on your arm. I have put you into 'my' time frame, which is 'my' control. You will be rejected by the world at 'times' for my timing but fear and worry not. I never want you in bondage to a parameter of measurement like you were before! I will take care of you my child, with any time frame worries you may have. You gladly give them all to me now for you know how stressful they can be. 1 am the God of all, little, big, and small. I will be glad to remoVe that stress from your life. I have you write these things for my reasons that I know Son. In these 'end' times many will be deceived by time. I practice you to give it to me. I will not only bare it but I am glad to. I love the peace my children have when they are - healed, at peace, and in my presence. Busy times you will have. I tell you to be careful with yourself during these. I will protect you of course from those who try to harm you. My Son it is those who are not trying to harm you that you have to watch for. Remember my Son Jesus was overcome many times by the needs 'wants' of the crowd. He needed to go off BY HIMSELF to be with me

Yes I was worn out by the crowds. I was sore and achy from doing warfare in the spirit while being in the flesh. You see I do have the fathers heart much like the one he sees in you. I did want to heal everybody and lead everybody to salvation with my Father. He did 'rein' back his child many times so I would not overextend myself. Son the world had four thousand years to establish societies and structures under Gods care. Their result was much good or God would have destroyed what had been built so that it could be rebuilt again. My Father saw that the law had imprisoned many. The law of rules, the law of religiousness, the law of structure. I came to free people of the taw, to being the Holy Spirit to guide people out of the law to freedom of the law of ritchiousness with grace with me. Now you look at what i offered in your maturity with me and think what a easy decision. Well Father knows his creation and what they can and cannot do. I had to fight off also the years of oppression that evil had established within peoples and lands. The good work begun with me will be perfected in Gods creation. It has been two thousand years of time now here on earth. Has it been the perfection of the earth that has taken place? Has it been the perfection of Gods people? Perhaps it has been the perfection of Fathers way of calling to his creation, and perfection of Father seeing the hearts of some of his creation. A perfect plan of stopping evil forever and bringing children home, Know this in the gospel your heart and spirit were drawn to. Paul's letter to the Corinthians regarding love - How people exist with love involves many actions but the first important attribute listed is patience. Father will reveal in his time, his plan. Stay with the enjoyment of his patience and you will be blessed with success.

4/4/98

Personal my Son I do love you so, you are starting to love yourself also. Press on my child. I delight in your growth, you will never shpw anyone this for now but you are the chosen one. You will do great things. You are grown like a fine flower. Totally beautiful and complete (yes spirit for now). I will show you things others cannot see. I will hold you under my wing and honor all the things you want, yes all. Write more this afternoon. Father I want that from you. You need to be built up by me. I will do this, I do not fail. I want you and love you Son. Your humility to me is a delight. Be with me. We will overcome all you feel has overcome my creation. You have my essence, be at peace.

Obstanance is rebellion against sight of light and odor of sweet smell. Hearing my praises is defining to evil ears. Touching anything blessed by my anointed ones is and irritation to that sense of one who is devoted to evil. Concentration of salt and

bitter tastes will reveal evil intent. Sweetness of taste will be burned taste adhered to by evils. Sour taste will be used for both. Vile things are to be looked away from.

That is for you my Son, more information written to you in the spirit. Yes the twinkles are the Holy Spirit for you. Fear not, for all my plans work together for good.

We grow in the delicate trust of friendship to close relationship and further to intimate abiding. Loving the singleness we have together. I know the flesh desires you have. I also know the reasons why you have then . I am not misleading you or letting evil tempt you in these areas. Bads are all around, I watch you completely.

4/5/98

Welcome into my presence my Child! I t is always a delight for me when you seek me. I will always honor your requests to me. You always have the choice to find me. You Son are being healed for what attached to you. In the sun in the presence of the Father I heal you. My peace I do give you. You fear being done with training and you fear the times when 1 will be silent? Why do you worry and fear others perceptions Son? Are they you? Do all my creations have the same walk upon this earth? No, others have given examples of themselves and their walks with me to show others what 'may' be. Not what will be. I would get so tired of doing the same thing over and over again. I plan each person and all the walk they have with me uniquely. You need me now in your life so close and I will be there in your life for you. Just you. I love to be needed. Do not be ever afraid to feel weak or vulnerable in your flesh. Your power comes from me, your faith comes from me. I want to be your need filler. There are many in this world who are lost, are you happy to have been called by me? If I called to you, and I did, and you obediently answered, and you did. I taught you many things, and spoke to so clearly, and honored your prayers, what would you think I thought of you? Yes it has been a rough road. compare to others? a little bit for now. How much inference from learning? How much knowledge from books to be imitated by them? How much deception pride and envy? See you don't feel fulfilled. Now gently look to Jesus. He is humility, complete or not to your understanding with me.

To me, I see the end from the beginning. I see you complete with Jesus in me. I am the judge remember. This is hard to accept that 1 hold the yoke of all spirit in me. You feel unworthy now. I tell you the truth with my promise, you are complete, you are worthy to me or I would not have called you. I would not have subjected you my creation child to such trials and forced growth if I had not known the end in you. I wrestle with you to prove to you I love you. My chosen one - not only one of my chosen, I list you as my choice for your anointing. You are my choice for my result in you, my choice from your essence of what you are. Look through my eyes to see you. Your spirit was stretched to strength. Call upon Jesus for strength, turn away from comparisons to this flesh world. Enjoy the time to discover and value what you have gained. Is that enough struggle my Son? Now command your thoughts to stop. The confusion is from impatience as I lead you. It is our time that you be healed. I know you want to be strong and complete but as I have shared with you it must be done slowly. Your heart wants to step out with your flesh to help others. You are being trained that it (evil) can whapp you back, sometimes without you knowing what has hit you. O.K. I protect you by training and guidance. You have not failed! You are here for healing, you have overcome evil with good. Good job! We are working out understanding of what happens.

4/6/98

Although you fear I am here. My Son I would write to you all day if you wish. I do not want you to use your flesh to feel badly. Rise up into the spirit with me and enjoy. What is your fear from? The removal of medicines, give it to me my Son, I have taken the addictive nature out of you. I am healing the past memories you have had. Have faith that they are gone and fear them never again. You fear being used by others, hurt by others you don't know and don't know why they hurt you. You were right with your son, people hurt others because of their own inadequacies. Inside Son others involved with evil are afraid of you and inadequate about themselves. They are inadequate about themselves because they fear what you as light and power have over them. What you can `do' to them. I have told you you have power. Do they? If they stay right within the evil ones parameters they can have some say and a little amount of power but what if they fail? Do they fear from that? Big time! You know your salvation my chosen, anointed one. What do those devoted to evil have? What, they won't even be able to get into hell? Their lives are ticking away and they live with a cloud of black hanging over their head of their eternity. They have fear of performance such as pain and persecution if things go wrong. That is why I tell my children `fear not' I am run with positive energy, to the better, for building up. Yes I have the power to destroy, much worse than the one I call the destroyer. I want you to learn only a small amount of compassion for evil children lost. The majority of them will not be redeemable. Yes, some of those devoted to evil will pray and I do mean prey on your compassionate heart to fool you into thinking you are helping them with your light and grace. Listen to me Son when I seek them and their hearts I will guide and tell you who is true to be saved and who is like a jackal trying to devour you. Net and web you, yes like the name you know it is a choice for good or evil. I show the compare and contrast of the choice of fear. You are not involved in any evil. You are my chosen vessel. I am so proud of what you have become. You have learned so much from my trials of you. My trials for you have been hard yes, never more than you can bare. To my delight, when I offer a chance to be out of them you have always chosen to go through the trial and training. You have always went for my will to be done in you. You are strong my Son, that is why I have written all of those 'I honor you' comments to you, because I do! How many men have pushed ahead to learn and be trained by me foregoing their own lives so I may be glorified? The strong men of God. You are one of them. Many Many have turned away. Vast amounts have backed out.

Not Alnt yoU 111 1111U. r my child. That ih~y 1 love you yVU so. 1 CVI or you '/VU u have n Q heart I IGQI I. like e mine, and nr a

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aI I I Ll i L of mine without ever seeing. 111e has chosen to give me his all and wants to do good for the kingdom. I have not manifested myself to you in large ways I have to others. I know you want to see an angel. I will introduce several to you soon. The four I have commi§sioned for you my servant. They are strong for you my Son. The fear we have explored today has helped you to understand my plan. I know the flesh and that you will feel fear again, and as such I

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will guide you to understand the origins of the fear you feel. Always realize I am bigger than the fear. Always realize I can move to remove you from it. Always realize I am steadfast to want you free from any hindrances that would rob you of your peace. I am as close as your thoughts, prayers and your heart. The fear of the Lord is not to add fear to you. It is for those that do not know me. They fear what they do not know. You my child know me now, am I to be feared? 'No my Fatter for you correct in love and exude love in all your ways'. Thank you my child, our writings are a close partnership I will move to share them with others. I know you wish f?r others to know me. Again I honor you. Grow on, I am always near.

4/8/98

I am with you my Son. You evolve much in this life here on earth. At times you don't understand why I do the things I do. You howevgr are so open to my spirit these words flow from your heart and spirit that I hold within me freely onto the written page. You are improving all the time. I will show you the ways 1 perfect you today with truth, close care and softness. Yes you understand fear that I have shown you. It was everywhere in your tired life. You felt dread also as a pombined emotion with depression. I have taken all spirit influence away from you that would have planted fear and dread upon you. You can stand upon that phrase. I have also taken one-half the fear and dread patterning out of your mind today. I will take out the remainder of of over the next two days. You will be free, I declare it, it is my will to do so for you. You will feel strength that you haven't felt for a long time. Yes, you have prayed well my Son. You are delivered. It is harsh to me to watch my child discover the fear and dread within their lives. I have removed it from others but it doesn't make it any easier. I have told you of your heart cries resounding in heaven. Your heart cries this morning touched me deeply. Others were touched by them also. It can hurt to be set free. I promise you the spirit of dread will not harbor within yqu again. Push away fear with my power whenever it tries to influence you. The word states fear not, many times throughout the Bible. That fear inflection word is flee from what is ahead of you. I have planned all things for my children to ease through, in other words , press on, don't fall back if possible and don't let the evil one exaggerate the situation to you. I never give my children more than they can bare, remember? How would evil have you look upon the least little thing? As insurmountable, as negative, as struggle - eventually as for you as a fight for life, fighting everywhere, who fights all the time? Evil does, not caring , loving people. Who wants life to be a fight? Evil. Who wants life to be struggle free? I your Lord God. I have planned training yes for you, but trust in me, I remove the struggle for those who walk with me.

The other fear in the Bible is to fear God. It is only to have reverence for what I am and what I want. It is `not' to be afraid if me. As I have told you before, I know what your flesh does. I know you are unclean for now. I accept that in you for I have established it in you to repent for uncleanness. To those who do not repent and those who turn away from my ways, who continue to sin and be unclean in my sight. They should fear! Yes a real amount of fear. They are unredeemed, continuing to be flesh with sin when they have the knowledge of what it is to be cleansed. They are filth in my eyes. You are not, you have become cleansed and obedient to my promptings.

I am at peace with you my child. You continue to show me your pure white heart with caring for others. You are Christ like my Son. I value nothing more in this universe than that . You are two thousand years more into the filth that covers this world than my son Jesus. You did have obstacles to overcome that Jesus did not. I see all of this and admire your strength and persistence as 1 have told you. I will remove nothing g from yhave given. that I h 've not ::e:~ given. tt 'and In -fact 'atruth' ! will add strength to

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you more and more. Good job Son, my word exceedir glY mere and more to yea i

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added to by evil to oppress my people into a state of paralyzation. You needed to see the effect upon you to learn of it and the effects of it upon your entire life to know the basics of it You have been paralyzed by fears then dread to depression from such a wide evil plan of progression in your life only I your Father in heaven could re:sou e ye u. It is tsokenness yes, but it is such a knowledge to know the rudiments of that progression you will now understand. The evil one knew of your glow and some of my piarls for you and others like you so he really dumped on you_ That is reveled to your knowledge base now. Yes my von ely word states that teeks, i-abbery al- the enemy will be reveled. My recompense to you will be strength. You feel dazed now Tnat is

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You will be heal and be whole soon. All roads have led you here. fears and dread

a a -ya,;r parents, peers, reatliens, era_ le this flesh ‘vvorld has brought truth to pee. i guide- you ihiouyh tire Femeiedei ei this i-ieaiing. De not rush this. I always;
have lime" on my Se. am time_ al-.;aye have yee :se my hrz.ail my See. Yee eee blessed.

4/10/98

Welcome into the close presence of me my Son. I am always near you, in your heart, close by you in the temple I have created in you. My plan completes for my world, for my creation, for you my Son. I will do the work my child. I will guide you in some things to do when the time is right. Some of the things will seem meaningless to you, some will be prayer, some will be physical work, I will give you all the needed strength needed for what you need to do. To your previous standards of what you had to accomplish it will not be anything hardly at all. I trust in you to do my perfect will Son. I am so proud of you for your strength and your steadfastness. I know you within your spirit and soul so completely. I have taken that old black spirit of dread out of you. Rejoice my child you are free. The fret and worry in you is eased more and more each day. You can go out feariessiy my Son. i say for the care of you go out carefully, even within my care I want nothing to happen to you. I watch my children very closely. You have learned how your mind can become erratic when oppressed by evil. How you struggle with your feelings of anger towards me, the helplessness of situations, the inability (yes write on) to praise me, the downright cursing of me. Yes I heard your thoughts, it is alright, you repented for those. I forgave you instantly. You also felt the struggle within you of good and evil my Son. I watched you closely and heard your real true self calling to me, so did you. You were oppressed by evil..., fear not, others speculations of what a Christian can and cannot be subjected to. I call the shots. The word possession if simply the amount I am willing to allow my child to be controlled by a spirit. Like 9/10's of the law. To stick to a words hard and fast meaning is incorrect. I tested you and your strength of 'fight factor' with evil and it's maximum within you and guess who won? You my Son! You with me overcame evil with good. I heard it from your mind, your soul, your spirit. All good you choose even in the delirium of evil in you. Strong and true and anointed. It was so much stronger than I have allowed upon others, you see, I know your strength, but you' have to know your strength also. You overcame, you succeeded in your strength, we won. Yes I have starred with you in your spirit in times to come others will be attacked as strongly as you have been. You can help them with the things you have learned in your heart and your mind. When I release my spirit on the world more evil comes to my people immediately to 'hold it's evil ground', that is the premise of the world. I can create new things, so i always have the upper hand. Evil can only steal what it can and hold onto what it has. I gave you more of me again the other day, more power, yes more anointing my Son. You didn't even notice it clearly. That is why I subjected you to my plan of training you child. If you would have known of the power I had given you ypu wouldn't have been surprised by the strength of the attack. I know you Son remember? You are such a thinker and you figure out so much I had to train you with a pop test. I will not do that again. You are so willing to so my will even when I show you my trickery of you you are forgiving and living on. Yes be proud of your intellect and that your Heavenly Father has to go an extra step with you from my plan to complete you. You are victorious and now you feel the weight of my love on you.

I am here brother to write with you also, be not fraiu (Jr The separateness of the

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Fathers from the Son's. Your hearts desire is to honor me by seeking me upon the day of my payment for sin with my death. I thank you for looking at all those in the world who will understand what I died for. Many look at this day of Pentecost as a grief day. I did bare the grief so that all could have life. I am saddened by the amount of those fallen. They are fallen from the lack of knowledge, and the deception from the evil one. Concern yourself not of them. Rejoice in those who are saved. Many more of them will turn from evil when things get 'hot' for them. Remember everyone has their own 'will' I still see some of that `help everyone' in you, that is a flesh based feeling. Be guided by my Father in who you will save, it will be many. With me all things are so possible. Some sorrow and grief will be here one earth, but will vanish upon my bringing you home to our Father. Hold fast to your style and creativity, I admire that in you. Your heart is large within your spirit, you are a formidable power for the kingdom and a irrepressible source of strength o conquer evil. Thank you for the comfort you show me. My Father chooses well.

4/13/98

Away with the old feelings my Son. Like garbage you would empty. You are redeemed from what you felt was your wrongs agonist me your Holy Father. You my child were not wrong - you were wronged. I have related to you how I must keep you within me so closely and at times your will does undermine this. I do not want you to feel threatened by this, I have chosen the choices for ypu to choose as I guide you. You repent for your attitudes with me in your humility. That is honoring me so totally that I cannot ever find wrath for you. I will be persistent with you so that I can relate to you with these writings that I have pushed you....too far my Son. I am sorry, I know you do not want to write about this as you think it makes me look less than perfect to you. I am perfection in that my perfect will is done at the times that I will it to be. Trust in these pages of writing that I trust you to write my will to ever share with others. Now I do want you to know the truth of what has happened to you, not others. You are complex my Son, not too complex for me to heal but there are aspects of you even I am learning. It is like trying to light the light of you as candle in the wind. The evil one blows winds of adversity all around you to confuse you, revert you back to what you were. You and I must meet at the connection of the wick and my flame. Do not ever fear it will not complete. I give you my covenant that it will, you will be everything I have planned for you. I learn from you my sweet tired Son - you feel me - yes I learn from you. I must push you to get reactions from you my creation, so that I can correct you. You amaze me with your logical mind as you help me to purify you. This will help others also as I learn from what is going on in your spirit so freely given to me. I still trust you only to me my child. The situations in your life are extremely complex with the world around you. I cannot take you out of this world just now to heal you. So many people depend on you. I am the God of perfect completion. I want you to have joy on this earth my Son. In order to fulfill that I must be with you at every step of the way. You are not weak, but you are influenced by attitudes that are absolutely wrong in this world. My wrath does escalate when I have you step out into the world with others, (I've tried many) and they oppress you! you look at things from my son Jesus' attitude and it doesn't fit, then you look at things from your logical mind and it doesn't fit, then you apply your heart of love and forgiveness and that also doesn't fit. It don't add up! You at times can turn away disgusted. I am understanding that. You should be able to step out into this world without trepidation of what will (come agonist you) or (Is my mind tough enough to stand up to others negative thoyghts) and still commune with people and enjoy, have joy in life. My world as I have placed you in is harsh, more harsh than I would have for one that is growing in grace, healing, and learning. I will hold you back from taking steps out for now that will hurt you. Be not afraid to be separate with me for now. I will not have my chosen one cry out to me from his heart, your cries are valid. I hear them all to well. It does hurt my heart child. We will regroup and harden areas and build up, make strong, reinforce you. I will not have my new creation scarred again. I will stop oppression upon you. I choose to make you stronger, but I will do it carefully and completely. I know what you are capable of my Son more and more.

4/14/98

My faithful Son, you return here to this quiet place of rest to hear from me to write to you and share some of myself with you. You give your all to me every day and have learned well how to enter into my rest. Child, all will not have my voice as you do. All will not be so guided by my Holy Spirit as you are. Many who have my Spirit in their lives are not of the same upkeep we work on or the same makeup that you consist of. I have told you carefully you are special and unique, that you are my chosen one. Wanting to compare yourself to others you profess they can all have the voice and relationship we have. I can only say again tp be careful, many do not understand as they are unique and special to me in their way. Gather your joy at our close relationship and pray for others. You are my delight and i so enjoy this relating we do through writing. It is cleansing you with guidance that will confound the wise. You are correct there are truths within these writings that are the correct paths to healing. It is hard for you to take the time to heal as you need. I know what you need. We have an issue now of you being pulled back into my protection my Son.

I will hold you back in the areas for your healing. So many people will not allow the proper time to fully heal. You my love are allowing me to take out the bad from your past and replace it with the relationship we now have. It is very hard to watch `the world and others lives' go by when you are alone with me. Are you gaining? My Son vast amounts of intellect and logic and peace and Love and self care. These will be of the most value that this life will have offered.

4/15/98

Yes it is real. I am real to you my Son. You never need to doubt that I have held you throughout these times of discovery, times of learning. Yes I had to apply different parameters to you as I do to each of my children. The writings we have done together are the most effective way now for us to relate. You also hear me in your comings and goings, you walk by the Spirit and pray in the Spirit beautifully. You are respectful and humble to me your Holy Father so much you again check with me to be sure what I want you to write. I give you your free hand to write because at times you will write what I will on your own! That is becoming perfection, Christ like. I trust my honored servant Daryl to write my will for himself and if possible for others to share my word, my healing, my character. Pray for your enemies my Son, although they have hurt you and do make your life difficult it is my word that states to pray for them. To pray is to communicate with me, to pray is to release my will upon a situation. To pray is to release pain from any situation. What good does it do to manifest non-forgiveness towards another? How many times can an old issue be brought up over and over until it has developed a stench that no one else can tolerate? What is for tearing down and what is for building up? How much dread can fill the consciousness of a mind until it is paralyzed to moving ahead? Give it to me! Your Holy Father, your helper. Through prayer as an action it will cause a reaction, it has to, there are things that happen that can not be seen. People believe that. Through prayer the windows to heaven are opened and the words come through to me like alphabet soup, I am the alpha yes? Imagine realistically a line of words going through the earths atmosphere to a window that opens to heaven. I am at that window listening for my peoples words. Watching for the line of letters to come to me so I can react. I do honor each creations will and so I only act when they invite me into a situation. Those that seek me in prayer are heard and that prayer is acted on. If my children only knew how much that extended hand to me of prayer is cherished. It is (besides you Son) the only way my children can contact me at this point in time. I grieve when I see such struggling in the world and the attitudes of 'I will do it myself'. They will not comprehend that I God made the world, I God can move on any ones behalf who prays to me. I can plan the ways for All things to work out for the good. Why always put me in a box marked 'God' and believe that is as far as it goes? My power is limitless, my knowledge is limitless, my choices are limitless, my Love is limitless. I of course do know why my children try to hold parameters about me. First the age old stronghold that you as a creation cannot perceive my vastness, my glory. Why then are people content to use 25% of their brain capacity? What happens to the other 75% I have built in? Atrophy will descend. The second hold is the attitude 'I can do it myself' mentality. You give a child paper and paint and brushes and they will create, however the Father knows so much more that can be created than the child. The Father gives instruction for a time and delights in the creativity that occurs. Without further instruction and guidance the compositions will repeat within the limited parameters of the child's mind. A snails pace of development. Where will the development of my creation continue? in heaven my children, with close guidance and care. The will bendl to the prayer, the

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prayer bends the ear of God to his creation. God then constructs choices and blessings to return to his children. The third action is sin. If the child tears up the paper, and continues to and destroys the brushes, and throw the paint all around, including on others, how long before the Father takes action? Will he try again and again? What if the rebelliousness of the child is enhanced by others? I think you get the picture. It follows the same pattern for this world. There are many possibilities, many more with help. There are rules, follow them for involvement, there are consequences for actions.

My Son you remember this phrase I have used before with you. One of my own rules I try try to hold myself to 'you don't reward bad behavior', yes it is as basic as the commandments. I have examples it throughout my wgrd but some people do not see it. They will not see it thinking I do not see them. They are so wrong. I have so much respect for those that have been called by me to pray, and have done so, and prayed for others so much. It has changed the realm of the physical and the supernatural time and time again. All who have a conscience have the ability to pray. I have no rules on the types of prayer, that adds up to old law and religio sness, Loose it! Any style of prayer is beautiful to me. With prayer and simply state from my heart is;

From your heart, simply stated prayer brings Go to you.

4/15/98

We have a covenant my Son. The words you spoke out of your mouth a few weeks ago of your covenant with me were my words of agreement back to you. Now I know I didn't tell you at the time that they were in fact my words to you at the time.

I know the future my sweet child and I know we would be writing here today. I knew we would declare our covenants to each other now. I will convey my covenant to you now with the same words. Is that O.K.? I hear your heart chuckling as you see my plan for you unfolding.

I hear your spirit accepting the fact that I am Gocl and I can see these things, you cannot. I am true to you always my Son. Look back to the phrases you wrote to me and you will see me there also.

4/16/98

You my Son can always trust me. To put your trust in man is a decision I can help you make. I do not want you to feel that you cannot trust another. I will guide and move for you if it is needed to keep your things to yourself. I try so much to stop anyone else from possibly doing anything to harm you that can make you fear. I said I guide and I am powerful enough to protect all the areas of your life. Anxiety, loneliness, lack of direction, healing, set apart. Those are concerns of yours but as you prayed to me now I added strength to you. You now feel, I am strong - God will protect me - So what if don't receive the things I direct you to do for me. Exactly my child I knew what you needed was some strength from me. But you needed to know it also. I gave it and you feel better. 1 am working with you - for you. You and I both benefit . See the anxiety is fleeting. It is not permanent to your mind. It will work its way out more from the habitual use it do have in your mind. Now you see my child. You have nothing to fear. It was there before like a strong-hold yes? It was enhanced to the negative by the evil influence in your life. You have become accustomed to it and then addicted to it and it will rob your life as you see. At intercessors prayer today I led you to compare all types of behavior to addiction cycle and you wanted answers to that. How to stop addictive behavior. It flows through life seeking whom it may devour...Sound familiar? It is satan. It can become a river of black bile that chokes life. It was so close to you you are having a hard time writing this now. Stop and gain peace from me in prayer as I promised I will reveal it to you. Addiction is adding to a behavior over and over until it dictates to the person what to do....add-dictate. It becomes a trap. The mind talks in dictate all the time to convince itself that the behavior is acceptable. It is an illusion - the evil one knows this cycle in my creation and sticks his flaming darts into every area of the cycle. The cycle applies to many behaviors. Anxiety as you have seen is an addictive behavior. Although no one wants it in their lives a seed is planted. The seed can be planted by evil, bad events in life that produce anxiety reactions. A cancerous way to develop an attitude. Net and webbed on top for confusion. You will write more on this and all the behaviors that are addictive my Son. You need calming and rest, I will be here for you. Try to avoid worry - a possible addiction? Release it to me I can take it for you. You will heal. You will be so complete and Spirit secure the old will be learned, the new will be grace.

4/19/98

See how fast the days go by without coming into my presence my Son? This at a time in your life when you do need me each day. I am a re-filler for you. Believe in this and receive your daily dose from me. I will be your comforter, your healer, your guide throughout your life. I will understand and care for you. When you depend on this world as you have without that time with me you may become dry. I want you to be watered with my word each day. We have been going through so much to have you be better now we can see what you need, yes? I do not want you to put me into a box that only at the lake can you find me, but it is a good place to be alone with me isn't it? I am a type of addiction for you right now, you need me. I know that. I need you also my Love, to be happy. I know you are not there yet, but you will be. These writings will be profoundly valuable to those who find them. I did need to build a worthiness teaching into them for you. You are worthy, you must believe in me that I know you. Anything of worth is worth pursuing isn't it? I have pursued you haven't I ? I know your worth my child, my sad man. I have called you to me to rearrange you Son. I tell you the truth I will be so careful to cleanse you and uphold you - to know you and keep all those cherished qualities that you own and to selectively weed out those things that are not necessary for you to hold. I have moved, and yes write it , tried to bring all those wonderful things you are to the front of your life. What can we rejoice our removing? First those medications that affected your mind. They were interfering with your life in ways only I could see. They were not helpful to you any longer - but they were a cover up in a large way for what was underneath. Pain and much confusion, Who does confuse? Who inflicts pain? evil. The evil one has infected my people with these evils for eons. Try not to look back on what has been, but onto what can be. We have removed spending , time rushing, lineage, idolatry, fear, strongholds, sin, all old memories, subjection to others, ignorance, abuse, illogical strongholds, condemnation false pride and many others from you. I have replaced them with my Spirit, Grace, and righteousness. I am building you from the inside out. Allow others to go on their way in life, worry not. Each one I have a plan for. Your plan I have for you is health of mind, body, soul and Spirit. That takes a long time to become healed and have the health I require for you. You will be complete. It is a waste of energy to fret and worry - strike it from your life whenever you feel it. You wonder about your self worth my Son. You can not comprehend what it is to be worthy in this world. Do not try to be worthy to yourself or others here. Remember when we wrote about that? Your worth is in MY EYES. Do not fall into the trap of you establishing a worth upon the earth. It will build stress, ...rather, rely, rely, rely, on what worth you have with me. With me behind and within you you walk with God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit.

You can compare yourself to others now, I will allow it. I have the highest standards anyone can attempt to attain. I bring my Spirit to them at this time to purify, to call out, to sanctify my children. I lift them out of the mire that is this world. The evil one consistently tries to pull my children back, but I will prevail. To be always aware of this pulls you as a matter of `fact' above those that do not know me. Your walk as I have shared with you is one of grace and heart. That is of the highest value in

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my- our kingdom. You already have the heart - no-one can take that away from you. Your grace grows each day. I watch that. I do know how to grow my children correctly. I do admit my sweet I have had to pull you back from stepping out for a time. As you have felt in your Spirit it is to move you up my Gods ladder and purify and heal you ever more. Yes for more of a call from me. You feel now that this will make you more refined, it will - I know how the schedule goes, I won't leave you behind. You and I know you could acclimate to some life right now but I will not see the hurt involve you yet as I know it could. I will not harm that heart of yours. I do enjoy the healing time with you my Son and this time writing is so good. I cannot listen to your heart cries from things I can protect you from hurting you. Your heart like your Spirit is still rather fragile. No chances will I take with scarring upon that part of you. I will make you rest if need be. Hold onto strength with faith that I will restore. I will give you back your strength I have taken for you. Yes, I took it from you, why?, to slow you down, to have you refocus, to heal a quick moving servant. I know your heart aches for a restoration of many things in your life. I will restore you and your wife soon. I play that very carefully, that is where your heart is the most vulnerable. I will move very carefully my Son to restore that.

I will help you brother to heal the years the evil one has stolen from you. You will have a complete and full life as my Father wills. Intercourse is important verbally as well as physically. You understand 'this. I am directing you and your wife to be together according to my fathers plan. This takes time. I have learned a great deal from you my brother about the ways a man can fall and be hurt in this current age. It is abhorrent how many twists the evil one has done to my children, my males in these times. It is with my power we will overcome the many injustices done to you. As you become empowered by the Spirit, my Father and me you will require less of your own worldly power. Lay yourself down in my arms and I will give you rest. Sound familiar? Be at peace and know I don't let anything go by. I will make you happy my child. Sink down in your life, your chair, your bed with my peace and let me take over for you. Not by your will and strength but by mine. I am your savior and I won't let you go. Brother, how could I love you so? I lived on this earth a long time ago. I have watched and hurt as you have, when you have. It is hard to be a man today. It is hard to be a complete man caring as you do when others around you are clawing to get ahead, and women are intimidating to men to the extent of what is the use? I feel that. It hurts! It is wrong! You will understand all very soon. I have stayed in the background but you will be walking with more of my power now. You are strong, I am stronger. Be my vessel of heart and kindness, I will be your power. I vow.

4/20/98

Back here getting refilled. That is my will for my servant, my child. I always reinforce my thoughts and words and deeds I give to my children. It is my way of gentle guiding. In this world people need to be touched again and again. I know this of my creation, not only to hear from me, to be led by my Holy Spirit, to follow obediently. My saints need to be stroked if you will. Isn't it nice to have reconfirmations of things I direct you to do? It is comfort for anyone stepping out in faith. It feels good to hear a word and then to be confirmed again by another source about that same thing. Like a sucker given to a child for good behavior and an unexpected second sucker given not long after the first as an additional treat. It builds confidence. It is my delight to see my children use their minds to discover their reconfirmation. It helps my children learn trust along their walk in life with me. I love to inform when I can. Some people will try to `figure out' what is going on, it is better to let it happen, expect it to happen according to my will. I am always watching, no matter what. When you don't hear from me it means I am trusting you. I know what was and is and will be so I do know the outcomes. How anxious people get when I am silent to them. To my children walking by my Holy Spirit to the best of their abilities it is my blessing to be silent at times. It means I trust them. I will not let go of the two wheel bicycle they are learning to ride yet. They will feel the freedom to enjoy the ride and secure that I hold them. I reinforce and guide as I still stand by your side. You feel sadness in the mornings out of apprehension my Son. That is why I wrote to you about how I reconfirm to my children. You didn't know did you? Yet you wrote it for the value of writing for others on this day so you will have done a deed today. When will you be able to not have to measure up to what you do and who you are? You are putting yourself in a box and giving value to what you do. I would like you to know of your value to me as you are now. You are worth healing my Son. I will work on indefinitely with you on this area of your life if I need to. I have taken away so many things from you in so many ways so that you can discover your true beautiful self. That is how I will build you from the inside out. Your worth is in the fact of who you are with me in you. Yes, me in you! I am surly in you my Child. My Spirit walks with you each day. My Son Jesus is in your heart building you back up inside there perfectly - yes perfectly. It is different than what most of the world wants or is used to seeing but fear not. It is my will and my design to develop you Christ like as I see to develop you. That is why you are FREE from condemnation when you are with Christ, the anointed one. Put aside all the rules, ridiculous rules of this world of what 'IT' wants. You are a child of MY universe - we know what we do, we know how we need to live as we need to. Right now let other things go. I challenge you to be self-worthy, at peace with me to learn and enjoy calmness. It is o.k., it is healthy for you. I will guide you. Rest, reflect and read. Write with me for understanding, to put it clearly. Do not be afraid of 'doin nothin'. Let the world busy itself, I know what it is doing. I want you rebuilt...calm first.

6/24/98 encouragement

Hold on to what you have achieved. You are free from the medications addictive qualities that harassed you and would have kept you in bondage, more bondage than you need. You are free of them, let them go. You are also free from the spiritual attacks that have held you back and made you suseptable to further attacks. As my word states my Son `the prince of this world commeth and he hath nothing in me'. Your mind is being straightened out and your body as well. This takes time my Son. I have herd your prayers and I will not have you suffer longer. I will remove the confusion from your mind that has been there under the facade of past hurts. You do look to others my child, so much that it is painful to you. Stay away with me Son, I do know what is going to happen and I do know being set apart as my children are is a benefit to them. You really need to be set apart Son. You are vulnerable to many inferences now and the trappings of the world that bother you. You are enduring with all of these things child but it has made you feel unworthy of anything of value. The value that this world holds. Loose it now, good job. If you buy all that this world has to offer you will buy sadness, if you buy what I offer you will have fulfillment. For you this is imperative. You are set apart, unlike many others that I call for your specialness. Your suffering has been for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Do you think that I forgot all the suffering? I keep all the tears and the record of all the hurts for my special Sons. You will have reward and heaven just as you want. I will not leave you or underrate what you are going through. It is my promise to you Son to see you free of the connections to this world. I will revel to you why in time. It will be beneficial to you to walk the way of the Lord. You are also angry with me for the length of time and the amount of burdens I have put upon you and the amount of helplessness feelings that you have. I have re-moved much from you my Son and your faith has stayed true to me. Good job my Son. I have pushed and removed and tested and trialed you to the maximum. You are here with me writing again. i will rebuild you in just the ways you need to go and hold you in my arms and protect you while you move on. I am healing and protecting you now as we write these words. I have told you before of how I heal and I do what is necessary when it is necessary. I did convince you to come here today even tho you didn't want to. You were angry at me and yourself. It is forgiven. Let yourself forgive your-self tho my Son. Give yourself some slack and you will feel better. I do not want you to be so hard on yourself all the time. You beat yourself up at times worse than some of the spirits have beaten you up. Give to yourself in things that are for you. You know you are deserving and I will not let you fall. Do come here more to be at peace with me. It is not the only way but it is of benefit to you.

10/11/98

I am teaching you many things as I heal you my Son. These lessons come with a high price. Seclusion is not a thing you adapt well to. I have heard your pain and know you are having a difficult time with worthiness in this time frame.

Jo not fear my Son, I keep my promises to you with all I have told you. It is for

building up. Do not tear down yourself. You are my chosen one for the things I have laid out. I will not disappoint you in any aspect you desire. I will fulfill all you have wanted. I see your heart and it's desires. I know what you want most and best. Do not fear that I will abandon you, I have promised you I will abide with you. That is to stay with you as I have moved in with you to protect you. You have been so obedient to all I have asked you I am most pleased. You have been in fear of missing my voice and that you should be doing so much more than you have been doing. I say to you no guilt or self condemnation my Son. I want you rested and safe and rebuilt and healed first. Now I add another dimension to this. We crucify the flesh as we walk this path. Your flesh is tough to bring to complete brokenness my child but the lessons of submitting and learning are being well learned. Giving yourself up to me is the reason I abide within you. Breaking apart from the worldly flesh is difficult. As you are growing through those feelings you are painfully aware of this but your rewards are great. I will be with you through each step. Seek me and I am found within you , abiding in you at home in you, loving you.

10/12/98

Do not compare yourself to others my Son, In it's worst function it will defeat you totally, in the minor instances it will eat away at your self worth and self esteem. Rather contrast what this one has and that one has. Acquisition of worth and things brings a two sided burden. One a burden of keeping up what you have and another burden of what you perceive you need to get as you try to better and better what you have. You will note envy and greed are often associate together my child and envy is usually the preemptive word. Envy can lead to greed and begins a cycle of spiraling down. I allocate what is given to each of my children and I alone know what effort has gone into acquiring what each person has. Do not envy what another has because the burden they carry can then be added to you when it is acquired. I do not want you to carry heavy burdens when my word states that my burden is light that 1 share with you. At this time of your life I insist that you do not carry additional burden. I know that your flesh wants more of what this world offers but the strength to hold that burden is not there yet. It was too heavy of a weight upon you before and now you see that that can have a harsh effect upon you. You are much more strong now my Son and I know what you can handle still. I will guide you with my Holy Spirit. You are so special to me my child, I will not over burden you again. Do not allow the world to pull you down either my child. It will attempt to do this, as will the enemy. Keep peace within yourself and what appropriate burden can be.

10/14/98

You are peaceful now my Son. That was my intent as I heal you from the scourges of this world and the views you held. By walking resting, and reading the word you will be healed. There is not one thing you could have done that has extended this healing time. It had to be this much time my Son. The things you have learned about healing will in themselves help you to know that healing takes time. Most evident is the healing of the inner self as you have done with me. It is not just the placing on of hands one time. There are times when I will do a miraculous healing on someone I had led to you but it is most likely a process as it has been with you. A long process yes but remember over done is under healed. Over rushed is also un done healing for you my Son. I have orchestrated all the events of time and effort for you to feel better. You have not had a hand in what was done for you and now I can say to you that the difficult times are over. You have come a long way from what you were. Even tho we are working out some things yet they will not be nearly as difficult as things gone through already. My promises I have told you of will be on time, ... on my time. I am most pleased with what you have done and what you have become. You will also see yourself in this new light soon. You will realize I have done God's will correctly in your life. You are healing yes, but you are healed in so many areas. Thank you for allowing me to do this work in you my son. Hold tight to me as you have. Rest in me my Child.

10/19/98

My child do not harass yourself. You are completely , yes completely within my will. I allocate many things around you to allow this your healing time for you. Go on seeking peace with me for I will bestow it upon you. You will feel now more at peace. The walking serves many functions for you as you know it is my style of doing things. You are very important to me my Son. I tell you of these things and have you write slowly to have you slow down. I am trouble by the way this world rushes along. You walked today as a benefit to your health in regards to your heart system and your breathing system. You walked today to relieve your pent up anxiety and frustration. You walked today to burn off excess calories that will reduce your overall weight. You walked today to regain muscle tone and energy that has been lost over time due to the resting time you needed to feel better. You see these are just a few of the qualifying things I needed to remind you of for just the walk. I gladly share these worldly aspects with you my Son. I also heal your inner self and spirit during these times. As these healings take place you now see some of the roots of resistance that you have had. Try as you have to overcome self and you will be free. I will not hold you in this healing mode for much longer now. Understand you had to be healed totally from within and with out so that you could enjoy the happiness you so much seek. My vow to you is that I would heal you and you now understand how long some healings can take. It has been totally necessary to use this time to heal your mind, body, emotions, spirit, and soul. You needed to have it all done. I had to hold you down with a variety of ways so you could rest to heal your mind. You mind id complex and it takes a long time as you know to function again. Others will see this also as they stop or are stopped of medications that could their minds. Your mind is not clouded- not with one thing. I know it has been so difficult to hold onto faith and my word for this long of a time but you are almost through what had to be done. It had to be done for you my child. It is almost done now my child. It is at the center of all that has plagued you throughout these times. Your mind is special. You have walked this with me and we will be victorious over the world and all the attacks of thoughts of inadequacies that the evil one has shot into your head. You know right from wrong in reality, you know tearing down from building up now, you know good from bad now, you know the world from the spirit now. All of these things have been for you to learn as you have been healing. The mind is at the center of the world of your being and serves your body. It had to be rested, refreshed, rebuilt, restructured, and reinforced. I do not want you to jump ahead and rush back to what hurt you before. Business and relying on the world for your value. That was a loss course of action. Now you can rely on me and a properly aligned mind to direct you through your life. It had to be, it was at the center. Your perceptions are now being repaired. You will feel better each day. You have come a long way my child. Do not look at the time as sour or hate it. It has been a necessary time of growth, a critical time of growth. You have been obedient to me. I will bless you with more and more.

10/21/98

You have succeeded in many areas. I am most proud of you. The time frame you have endured is mine and not the worlds. I know how to rebuild my broken children and it does not come easy. You are so very aware of the pains you have endured in your body and mind. Now you see the world as it has become can absolutely ravage your mind. I must rescue my children as I can according to my will. So many do not want to walk entirely with me as you are doing. They find the world so tempting that they cannot or will not leave it for the benefits I offer. Believe me my sweet Son, the benefits of my grace will be so evident to those who follow me. I will bless my children unendlessy. The route of obedience is a difficult one with the evil ones temptations all around. The quietness you feel is one of being at peace, set apart from the world. It feels good doesn't it? I know my creation and their lack of this peace. I want you to have this peace in my presence, you don't have to do anything. I will heal you and restore you during these times. My word states seek me, know me know my still soft voice. This is what I want for all of my children, I am so glad you hear my voice. The enemy has tried to block all the avenues to me with stress, sin, and legalism to stop people from hearing me. You have persevered over time and you know I am here with you. Teach others my Son, I will guide the ones to you that I know will benefit from you, your kind manor and your heart will melt the cold frozen hearts. Be at peace, pursue is command it of yourself.

10/25/98

You my Son are frustrated and angry, but what about that is eternal? You are angry about things you think you have lost, or things you are missing. Sounds like some thing is being put into your mind to feel that way. Some things in your mind are just dissatisfied. Try to not be dissatisfied with your life as you know the healing time needed to be this long. I told you this morning you would have never wanted to go with this healing if you knew how long it would have taken. You would have rebelled against me if you would have known seasons would have gone by with you resting only. But you haven't rested only - you have preached the gospel, as I have asked to others, comforted others, delivered others and healed others during these times. I am most pleased my child. That is fruit of fruitfulness during the time of healing and rest. Now I have promised you and you do believe these times will be over soon, and I do mean finally soon. You will be healed and energetic, happy, fulfilled and no more tortured in your mind any more. I will it for you. The things that harass your mind will be alleviated with the slightest effort. I will give you the energy to produce the effort to finish what you need to. I promise you this. You will not need to be plagued with confusion in your mind or a reorganizing your thoughts any longer. You will be at peace. It has been a total body, soul, spirit rebuilding my Son. You will be complete, you will enjoy life again. It is my vow to you. You are worthy of it, I will guide you in all you do.

10/27/98

The pangs you are feeling are from a sudden absence, the stopping of the familiar from your life. Do not fear or worry about these things or feelings. They will become less and less troublesome and then they will be just gone. While these things are fleeting you are being made stronger. I work all things this way my Son. I am sorry that these times have had to be so hard on you. No, you did not deserve to have so much pain but it was and is my will for you to move through these areas of your life with grace, grace which I provide to you. As you stop to question yourself on writing I share with you it is hard to distinguish our two voices in your spirit. That is good! We are 'mind melded' in a very wonderful way. Do not deny or disbelieve my child. I want this sort of communion with my children. Hold to your faith that it is my will that we continue on this way. I delight in you and what you have become. I truly would ask my children to `tarry' here with me like this with you. How wonderful for some of children to spend tine like this, it is the most important time of their lives as you are learning. Yes my Son, I hear the concerns of your heart. You and I will still work on worthiness a primary area, but then guilt -false guilt, self pride, basically learning to love yourself my child. You have rights in my world my Son. You have learned from me new ways to live. I learned from you during these times as well. Nqw we will go on to complete you Son. I am guiding you, holding you, approving you, loving you.

10/27/98

Peace my Son, peace is the way to seek me. The world would try to rob you of this time with me. I would train you, encourage you, insist you seek the peace your body requires.

All things work together to those who seek the Lord. You see that in itself constitutes wanting me so you are doing something about it. Doing something is just this. You are working for me. You are praying for people and delivering my children from the evil one. You have not stopped working for me. Althoe the world would have you believe you are not being productive. You are my Son, in ways that others know not. Yes, it has been a long time of healing. To be busy in this your life and times tell me could you have handled doing a lot more things? I think not, rest, rest, rest is all I have told you to do, and rest is what you have done. All the obedience you have chosen is the spirit over the flesh my Son. That is what I would have had you choose. We are working on a wonderful thing, that is you! I want you to be happy and healthy in this world. You can achieve all the things I have planned for you. It is a lot of things. I have told you I have planned a life for you. A life that you would just walk into, did I not? It will happen and you will be so pleased. Do not fear, I will not put you into anything that you are not capable of. I promise that to you my Son. I know your reaction of surprise that you feel both in waking and in feelings of pressures. I know this about you. I will not shock you with anything you cannot handle. I do not want you jumpy from anything I do for you.

You have been under the impression I want you to perform for me. I do not want that, the world does, but I do not. Second, that I want you to prove to me what your like. I do not want that either. I know what kind of heart you have and I know this is the kind of heart I need for my kingdom. No proving do you have to do for me. I take you my Son just as you are now, trusting in who you are knowing, and what you have done. You are trusting that you will do more but accepting who you are now, what you do now. See? that is my love you feel now. It is not what you will become, but peace that I accept you now as you are. Not in lieu of other things as you have separated yourself from. I love all those things about you because I love you, goods and bads. I don't throw out one for some flesh things they harbor. Now you see love and acceptance I have for you. You have felt unworthy of my love for you. You are not unworthy of my love for you. I give it to you regardless of whether you feel it is deserved or not. Spirit of unworthiness my Son can stop up the flow from me to you by your perceptions. Bind it now. Good job Son. You are worthy of much more that I offer to you. You are worth my love, Accept; Not any pf the things you have not done are of consequence to the love. No presumptions on the love I offer you. You are worthy, grow with that.

11/2/98

You are more calm and resolved to our time here now my child. You are not entirely feeling better yet because of the extent of the attacks upon you last night and this morning. The enemy did attack you over and over as you felt. I am sorry that this was allowed but my word states the enemy will come and rob and steal whenever he can, and will push the borders of my acceptance constantly. I am not weak or feeble about this. I know what you can handle, as I know what any of my children can. I do not allow any more than they can bare. I know you have been attacked too much and it has robbed your joy from you. Do not give the enemy more credit with inference in your life. You are healing from wounds yes from today, but I am rebuilding your mind as we move along here my Son. That is very difficult for your thought process to go through. Your mind is being reformulated Son. That is difficult to walk out and try to look normal in the process. I have allowed things to occur in your life according to my will. I see the messes and the things to do. I have had multiple reasons for doing what is being done. First my frustrated Son it is a process. It took time, it takes time to repair. I will not give you super energy to make it better because you gained worth from that before. Now I want you to enjoy the small things around you and the small things you do. You have not enjoyed them as much. Believe me my Son this is the way to go about 'fixing' you and you must be made happy, and you will be more productive soon. I hear your heart cries and know of the anger but you have such a strong faith my child. I know the beginning from the end remember my Son. I know you will be through this soon and the completed person will be wonderful to behold. You will be happy and you are adequate my Son. Guess who was shooting the arrows into you through the cracks? Rebuke the evil one now and I will move for you. Work towards closing up openings that the evil one can get through.

You are called for kingdom work my Son and as such you are obedient to me and you do glow brightly in the world. The rewards of this quest are vast my Son. The enemy has tried every trick to rob you of your sanity, healing, family, wife, everything. Why is he trying so hard to hurt you?He doesn't seem to be hurting others as much does he? No. I will protect you my Son just as much as is necessary as I told you I would. Others if they really matter will understand in time what the truth is about a calling and the anointing I offer to my children. I want you to be happy my Son. I know these are fiery trials that you have walked through. They are the careful rebuilding of one of my best Sons. I am guiding and finishing the good work begun in you. Do not feel guilty or that you have missed something. I am directing your steps, each one my special Son. I will continue to do so. The rest of the world will fall away, what you are doing with me for eternity will stay. I will bring you out, don't worry, bind negativity. Love yourself.

11/4/98

You are perfectly within my will my Son. You worry that you don't hear from me at times, but not many can ever claim that they are 'perfectly' within my will. Many try, but few accomplish such a level. It is through your trust and continuing to seek me that you achieve this. Be proud that you have the perseverance to push away from the world. You were attacked within my will also my Son. I have to train you. I have to prepare you. I have to bring you down to see the filth that is subject in this world so you will seek me for cleansing. I do not want to subject my child to painful things but I know what will be, and I know you will be going through. I also know what others will be going through in these end times. I am sorry that it has been so painful but I must use evil to train for the good use of the kingdom. Evil's battle is being found out of all it's secrets by you my Son. Do you see why it is so angry? I am using evil to eventually defeat itself, and it can't help behaving upon you in ways that you learn so that you can defeat it. Believe me I am watching you every second that evils influence is upon you. I must watch the pain. -would you like to exchange? The responsibility I carry, of inflicting and watching a child go through these things because I know it is imperative that they learn and overcome? I think not. I do know it hurts and again I am sorry that your flesh has to feel so much pain. It will be over soon, you will be trained and healed and covered and glowing and healing other lost children of mine. It is so difficult to see now but the evil one attacks you mostly in the area of future outlook. How many negative thoughts were going through your mind of 'you will be useless' ? A lot of them yes? That is because the enemy wants to rob your confidence in me. Don't let him. I have promised you your hearts desire for the future. I will deliver it for you and with you. You feel you are missing some things or most things that you see others doing. I tell you the truth, you are missing nothing in this regard. I will restore to you anything that might be missed as you walk along this life. Why wouldn't I? Jesus paid the price for mankind, no one else has to suffer without a reward. Do watch the envy that you feel for others tho. satan can 'smell' it on you, and will react accordingly to torment you with it. Claim your heavenly reward and I will stop his advances. Do not give him sensory reason to attack.

My child you are called by me to do work for the kingdom, It is not the work that anyone else is working on. It is special as you are. It is big, as your power through me is. It is anointed as deep as being past your knees now in oil. Keep on pushing on - I did give you the phrase 'someone has to start' , You are the one. You are so strong in heart and spirit I know you will prevail. My children are weary yes, but with a grace they walk along their mountain goat path with angels all around. I watch carefully. I love endlessly. You will rein with me.

11/9/98

You are not lonely, I am here with you always. You are tired from healing from a very bad attack and being obedient to me. Thank you for that. You must rest and I tell you the truth you will feel better very soon. I can see the anger from being hurt and the residual feelings of negativity you feel from being attacked. I am training you for strong kingdom work my Son. My words are endless and timeless, that is why I so want to use you and these writings we do to help others. No matter what time it is you and others find comfort here. Knowing that I am the Lord and I want to care for and love my children. I am here beside you in all you do. I will move you from level to level to bring you the desires of your heart my Son. I will not let you fall or forget you. It may take longer than your flesh mind wants it to but I move in my ways, not the world ways. I am happy that your faith is stayed upon me for I will be here with you to guide you in all you do. Cast off to my feet the worry that you will miss my guidance or that you will have to catch up and work so hard to be within my healing will. Can I get my childrens attention? Yes I can. If it needs to be louder, I can call louder. If you hear nothing, stay doing what you have been and you will not be out of my will.

My Son you have some doubts about my call to you. Child I have called you to be separate, I have anointed you powerfully, I have ordered your steps to be close to me. I have called you to give of yourself to me for the use of the kingdom. You have given of yourself wonderfully and I see your heart so willing to continue to do this. I have had to heal you in a most complete way my child. Many years in this world have given you attitudes and perceptions that need to be changed. I do not want the evil one to hold onto any thought processes you have. I want you all for me. I hear your heart now enjoying this quiet time of healing and developing. Son look away from this world and it's views and rules and judgments when you are with me. I assure you I am arranging all things and you are safe and totally within my will. It does feel good to be so close to each other. This is real my Son. So many can have this if they would have the trust of a little child. I know there was a need in your life for strong direction and healing and growth from rebuilding. That is what I have planned for you my child throughout your life. I knew what you would do when I called to you. I have known you from before you were born, I see the end from the beginning my Son. I am not being cruel to you to have you not see the future. You must walk by faith that I will order your life to your hearts desire. I see that heart and I know what it is capable of, just as I know what it isn't capable of. I tell you the truth, look away from the world and your own perceptions of what should be in your life, and in your home. I will do a fine work in and through you when the time as I judge it is correct to do it. Until then seek me and be at peace. You don't have to `prove' anything to me or to any others according to my will. I will change the others hearts if needed so they will not harass you. You are of a delicate spirit at times my child. I know you and so I know this. I do not want you hurt as I look into your life. I want you to `hold on' as you have been doing. You are so far from where you were in healing continue to look away from the world and turn your heart to me, your heart-eyes if you will to me. Push the world and the flesh away and I will give you peace. I am watching all the other things in your life

-2‑

also. Bind the worry you have from that and you will gain more peace. The healing , you have endured is now in fact almost over. You have been very brave my Son. You have not lost your mind, but you have found a mind of Christ within you. That is a pearl of priceless quality. You have endured the `voices' of many for the faith in one my

Son. I am delighted in you. I am not held back by anything you do Son. This is such a good thing the relationship we have and are growing into, and the writing we do. Others will seek me from you my child. That delights me more and more. Fear not, I am fine tuning you into a life that is Spirit led and Spirit filled. The fine tuning that I am doing for your healing is still an important time for you as you feel the emotions crunching around in your mind. It will be for the bettering of you as a person with regards to calm and healed mind, soul and body. 1 am still guiding you Son, I am still with you Son, I am still calling to you Son, be close to me, you will not fail.

11/11/98

As I speak to you you are wonderfully receptive to me my Son. I am most pleased at how far you have come to closeness with me. I tell you the truth nothing will compare to the closeness we share. It does not have to be earned. It was earned upon the cross once and for all by Jesus Christ. You are weary yes, this is a different type of day for you, but you are worrying needlessly. Bind it for now, good job my child. I know that you enjoy things different my Son, but it has also conflicted with your shock system that your body reacts to. You were playing both sides to the middle. Change on the left, the regularity on the right, and you in the middle. When you were healed you needed to be less shocked by things. This is why so many of the things in your life have stayed the same or I have taken them away. I have simplified your life to help you heal more easily. You have fought against this with boredom, anxiety and envy. That is why you look so much at what others have, you want the activity that they have. I know that you don't need that activity just now in your life. I removed energy from you and eventually your creativeness, for a time. I am sorry you were harassed by yourself so much my Son but from where you were this needed to be done. Yes time does just drag when you are alone and healing. I said this would be the most difficult time in your life to work through this, was I right? Well, you are 'working' at saving your life with me. I have held you so close my Son throughout this most difficult time in your life. I am sorry it has to confound your mind and rob your peace but now you understand what true peace is. At least you have had a taste of perfect peace to want to pursue it more and more. You also see where your false guilt of I am wrong to be doing what I am, (not much you think) is going,...nowhere my Son. You were not ever wrong for doing anything wrong because as I have told you you are within my will. My child you have never even stepped outside of my will for anything of significance throughout all this time. I know to the world the experiences you have had are unconventional, at times weird even to you. It has been me running the show. You have not been wrong! You have let me be the God in your life and that, when others look down on you, is faith. You have the faith of a child. - I have told you before how important you are to me. You are now turning the corner in your healing. You are tired? yes who wouldn't be? You are gaining each day, and do take the time to be healed right. Seek peace, you need it for your mind. It is a gift of necessity. I have told you you would be restored and I want it. You will not be diminished in any respect. Be proud of what you have endured. You don't feel like doing things yet, my plan of forced rest. You don't feel the emotions you used to, my plan rebuilding emotions slowly and canceling out negative ones. You don't feel you have the thought process as you did, my plan, I had to put your too many, too many fast thoughts in order and slow them down. While I did this you have had your 'service' interrupted. I will reformulate your thoughts back in slowly over time. You have reacted to the things I have done to you, you have not been responsible for your actions, they have been anticipated, planned and reacted to for a complete healing of your mind. Son, also a healing for your body and soul as I have told you about was done also. You have endured well my child this all is why I continue to insist 'rest in me'.

Yes my Son the frustration in your mind is because you are not a completed project and your mind cannot gather the thoughts, creative ability, or energy to complete yourself. That is why I hold the `clock', the time is mine to heal and restore my children. I don't make junk at any time and so things have to be done carefully and completely. You are being wonderfully reformed, rebuilt, with all the expertise that I as your creator have to do you right. Son you feel the wheels of creative thought start to move again as we sit here and commune with each other. That is good to know you are still there in your mind, just slowed down a bit while we do a major construction job on you. We did it without many noticing how much was really being done. I told you I would not embarrass you didn't I ? Like a properly done project of perfect proportions you will be finished soon. You my child are worthy of all we have done. You may look back upon the memories of these times and shudder, yut it will be through happy eyes that you do so. My vow to you.

11/16/98

My son, my child of the spirit put yourself at peace and ask me for my peace that passes all understanding. When you are at peace my still small voice comes through more freely. I am here with you I will never leave you. I seek you as you seek me. I heal all the areas that I know you need healed. Son you are saddened by the sacrifices made to be better and the time that it takes to complete what had to be done in you. I can tell you that you are worthy to be healed and you are believing it more and more. You are of value to me and your family, the world and to yourself. You are just starting to see this more now and it was a "big" thing to restore in you. Your self concept was confused and broken and full of holes. I must guide you to understand that you are a self - worthy of status and you are a peron. You are self aware, but only mostly of the negative. I told you before to let Jesus be the steam in your self esteem, well that worked for a while but now I want you to look at you in this world to build you up. The enemy as you would guess has come "against you" about this in your life but I don't think you realize how much. Don't gook at it now for it will sadden you but know the evil one is the destroyer - that means destroy people, he tried out and out to destroy you. Not take your lunch money, npt give you a black eye, evil tried to get you confused and tired and depressed so you would either turn to him or you would want to die. Big bads boom my Son. I let you be pushed to the very limits of your endurance - No this is not just fantasy writing as you check with me. I want this heavy writing done so you can see who has been pulling your strings and understand how it has worked. K do not like to explain all things but here I will tell you what you want to know. This time here is anointed. I will protect you from anything that would harass you as we write this out. I know you need to know the whys and you are feeling drained out today. Son, we will put the things into perspective today and calm you from the flesh world. I know you need to have some of these things alleviated within your mind. I will be here with you for whatever it takes to deliver you from the feeling you have had and ape having. Do not worry about anything I will bless this time we have as I already have done before. I will comfort and heal.. Trust me my searching child, your Father wants you whole again. You will be. There are flesh thoughts and influenced thoughts that move through the soulish realm of the mind. I have reformulated your mind to look to the Holy Spirit when you question the correctness of your thoughts. The evil one will have you tormented by thoughts from him that seem to be yours. Any thought that is for tearing down of something is now of the evil one. I want you to carefully examine the thoughts you have. If they are not for building up - bind them, just say bind and I will remove the thoughts. I will continue to do this until you have relief to your mind. Do not fear, my Holy Spirit, and Jesus as the protector of you mind will be there to help you now as we restore the thoughts. You can't do anything wrong Son. As the thoughts are carefully moved around you will feel better and better. The things that are harassing you will become exposed to the light. K have shared with you my Son that you can lay your cares down at my feet. Make me the responsible one for these problems you feel you are facing. I will restore your mind,

with all the happiness you had before. I will bring back the energy and the creativeness that you have that make you so special.. I want you to move slower yes but I want you active again enjoying your life. I will bring back your passion for life also, something I have not talked to you about. Son with energy and creativeness removed along with passion and confusion within as I reconstruct your thoughts to do you wonder why you have felt so washed out, tired and unable to push ahead? It was me healing you. I tell you the truth, all of those emotions had to be removed from you for a time so you would "slow down". I had to repair your body, soul and spirit remember? I have reworked things in you that you don't even realize yet. All the rest has been for building up. Stop the negative thoughts that are for tearing down now with a word "bind". You will be rebuilt better not just a couple of things charged, a restored man of God you will be.

Let the things of the world go. You need not feel that you have done wrong, now that you are left out. Moving into what I have planned for you will be reawakening for you and will complete you in ways that will ring you joy. I will hold all things for you my Son. That has been my vow to you. all along. My word states I will uphold you. My word states I will give you the desires of you heart. Be patient with me Son, I will heal all the trouble carefully. I love you so-

11/18/98

The words can flow easily when the world is looked away from my Son. Again I say you are doing nothing wrong nothing out of my will.

At times things can seem to drag along for you. This dragging is an illusion from your flesh. I am doing things 'with' you each day as you walk obediently along with me. I am most pleased with the progress we make each day. I know you will be rQmplete when it is my time to be so. Your faith will work for you my Son to secure you to this timetable.

We will pick up from here my Son. My words are timeless for you, this you realize and it is comforting to re-read the things we have written. This day as the last few have been hard my child. Not so hard on the body but very hard on the mind. That is the reason I had people talk about the subconscious mind today, it was for tl em to hear yes but it was especially for you. I have been healing things in your s bconscious mind that you don't perceive, in other words you are not experiencing tOe feelings of these things being repaired but you are feeling the fatigue of what is being done with you. That is a question you have had for a long while. Why am I so tired / worthless for such a long time? Things were happening within your mind like the busy beehive of reorganization, the angels reforming your thoughts, and those mechanical tools rebuilding your thinking process. It was painful to your mind, it was tiring for your body, it was remarkable for your soul and spirit, Things have been going on in your subconscious mind that would astound anyone. I told you the rebuilding process would be hard for you to take. These last few days my heart aches for you with the pain I feel you feel. I cannot stop the healing now even tho you at times you cry out to me to make it stop. I know you are soon done, and I know how happy you will be. Pain is there for the evening my Son but light and truth will shine in the morning. I have shown you glimpses of your future and you have seen a busy happy life haven't you? I will cause it to come to pass for you. When I see you suffer and hear your pleas to stop I must push on to complete you. That is the light and truth for you. I continue to tell you it is 'almost over' and that is what I must tell you, it has built your faith and hope in me. You needed to hear a reason for worthiness of still resting in me. Now you receive from me that things are going on that you know not of, but are they making you tired as you are being healed in your mind. You did have the preset conclusion that you were not now time wise worthy of finished healing. I pulled behaviors and thought processes from deep within your mind over these past days as 1 reconstructed you more still. Son don't underestimate the amount of thoughts that have to be repaired during a healing. I have promised you I won't let others see what has been done for your own protection. It is to be for now between you and I. I have watched over you my little lamb. I have tried to make things as painless as possible. I am sorry about these last few days. I did dig deep into you and reorganized much. When you read my word in Romans 8 you discovered no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus. Those verses also go for no guilt, shame, of blame either. If you are feeling it it is coming from somewhere else than me. ynderstand? When you believe my word you realize all thoughts of guilt, bind and they will be gone. I will take them.

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When thoughts of blame or shame come from an attack send them back with a blood tipped arrows. I will permit some of the blood of Jesus to go back to evil to halt the attacks quickly.

Write more with me soon my child. I love to share with you and learn of you as you learn of me. I do not hold back my Love from you but it is hard for you to feel the extent of it when you are healing. It will be much more feeling fulfilled soon my child. You have endured much more than others have known. I honor your humility and Yestraint. I am building you for gigantic things my child. I am always near in the Spirit. Turn from this temporary world and seek me my Son. Be careful with yourself,.,. that adds up to self care. You are important to me and what I want you to do. I know difficult times have been here but abide in me and grape will surpass pain, Love will surpass sadness, Power will surpass hurt.

11/23/98

The world will harass you my Son. It will want you to indulge your flesh so you would keep in bondage. You have the ability and the power to turn away from the world. You will find perfect peace, a rebuilding of you. Not an addictive cycle of stress and anxiety. The evil one is of the world, I am not. Now my word states I am of the world, but not of the world. I will provide for my chosen children in ways of things they need when they look away from the world and turn to me.

You my Son must look to me as you can. My child the world and your flesh has played tricks on you for so long we need to put it under the proportionate control. Your foundational thoughts of what your value or worth are and how can my life be improved. What things are of real worth and value, what other perceptions do I have? The foundation is not as correct as it should be. Get Jesus at the base of your life my Child. What would Jesus do? As I begin to remove confusion from your mind now I will help you develop the mind of Christ with Jesus as your foundation. The likeness of Christ is already something that is a part of you my Son. You are heartfelt and caring, loving and very enduring as I have found you. You have improved vastly on these things my Child. You are as I see you are beautifully Christ like. Your mind is being reformulated Son. It is vastly complex, especially with what was changed within by medication. It takes time to repair and rebuild a mind Son. Be with me, away from the world, let go and let your God heal you.

11/28/98

Do not feel guilty about the feelings or thoughts you are having at this time my Beloved. Turn your eyes to me and I will take the feelings and thoughts from your Soul. They are weighing heavily upon you and they are not your fault. You are hurt and broken from them as I have allowed these feeling§ within you to come to the surface so I can cut them off to harass you no more. 1 used situations and things and people to bring these things of truth, hidden way down in your Soul truth up so then they would then be reveled to the light and then would be gone. The pain of them will be with you for a time. I. needed to heal you from these lineage problems. I will fit these writings together my beloved child, fear not their coherency. Your flesh wants to blame those responsible for hurting you. They are at fault, I only use situations, people use their free will to choose right or wrong. t use the choices. I do not cause the problems in peoples lives. It was their free will, which is a gift as important as life itself that creates situations. I use the situations to teach. Please forgive me for putting you through such difficult testing. I know it hurts so deeply in your Soul. It is infection my Love, it must come out completely. Cut the ties that bind you to the feelings. You have chosen to forgive me for putting you through this, thank you my child. I know you will heal soon and I do not mind humbling myself before you. I have put you through so much my child. Much more than most my Son. Truly I tell you I am learning from you as you learn and go through these things. I am with you through all these things. I will deliver you through these things and you will be complete. You will not take ragged breaths, you will not feel energy less. You will not feel sorrow my Son. I will deliver you from these and more things. Please understand I must heal you at the rate that I am my child. I would quicken the time if it would work for your priceless spirit to be healed that way. I would zap you if your Soul would adjust to the new alignments without future problems. I would take you home my precious love now if I didn't need you here to help my children. I know you will. I tell you the truth, you will be very happy very soon. You will not look back. You will have been through the fiery trials and will have overcome your world. Yes, as Jesus overcame 'the' world you will have overcome 'your' world. These concepts run deep my Son, as deep as you would have them go. Fear not my child, I am orchestrating this for you, for your healing, I will not give you more than you can bare. I am careful with you my child. I will not give you more than you can handle. Your trusting of me is why I take over so much of you. You feel detached to the world? That is my plan of holding you up while I heal you. 1 guide and hold you through these things you are doing. You are not doing wrong! You are doing my will as my will is being done in you. Your perceptions are flat? Yes, they are at rest so I can heal you. As I have said this will be the hardest time of your life but look look ahead, it will be for a time, not for all time. You are worth healing my Son, I want you happier than ever. Help me to stay with me and we will make it so. You will hear me as clearly as any sound to your life. My vow to you,

11/30/98

Son you are welcome here and I reach out to meet you to bring you closer to me. I want you to have peace and healing from me. I give it freely to you. Do not let your flesh or this logical world take this from you. I am honored you are so obediently seeking me throughout these frustrating times of healing. You must be held in my grip of grace to protect you from the world and all of its influences. You have followed all I have said to keep this time private. I do not want you hurt while you are healing.

Your mind is confused by the healing, you feel saddened and burned out, depressed type thoughts are tormenting you. I have taken so much from you for so long you feel you will not come back to life again. Son, my word Jesus came so that you may have life, and life in abundance. What does that mean for you? Jesus came into your life and called to you according to my plan. I have now worked and worked with you removing the things that were of 'false' abundance for you and replacing them with the true realities of this life you live. Along this path of removal we have removed many bandages and lineages from your body, soul, and spirit. I have put you in a safe place and trained, tested, and trials you, preparing you to step back into what I have planned for you. Son, you have done so well at this I want you to realize how much has been done. It is a changed life for others you will influence in your life. What you have fought agonist in what seems is every step of your way is resting to heal. Yes I have put you aside to be with me. You are understanding what a job that is to have you fill. I have asked you to stop doing in a world where everyone else is doing `something'. That was and is so hard for you to do. That is why it is a test as well as a necessity for you to feel better. You have learned while you were 'set apart'. Learned wonderfully. It was a strong lesson and it still troubles you. As I have told you I took a lot of things out of you also my child. I took your energy you used to have that would accomplish so many things. I will give it back to you and you will have a directed path of purpose that will provide you with joy. I have changed your perceptions within your mind, that has caused you emotional pain. Some healing has to hurt to be better soon. The time drags for these down misunderstood perception changing times but hold on, I will deliver you. I will complete you. The confusion and perception changes will be over soon my weary child. Yes you have had to slow down and stop most of your life while your body, and soul, and spirit has gone through healing. Your worth is here Son that all things stop for your health to be renewed. When it seems like nothing is working 'fear not' I am always healing things within you. I am always rebuilding you. I am always watching you my Son. I will uphold all that you have sacrificed for us to do these things in your life. I am building you for kingdom work. I have not forgotten you or left you even one little bit. I am efficient in what I do. I am making the best use of time to remake one of my best Sons. No guilt, I am covering, honoring, delighting you. So soon now will you be happy and completed and rebuilt and at peace.

12/2/98

1 brought you here today to this area to show you that I am guiding you through all the things you are doing. I hear your tormented thought. I know you have been suffering with them. I am moving and healing them now to set you free. They were from a self hatred and from thought patterns from your early life that were hard to break. I know the pain of this time has been necessary for you to get to the bottom of what has bothered you. Fear, the enemy has used to hold you back from healing now but only because the self worth and thought patterns were already there. Break the thoughts and patterns now. Good job my Son. They are gone and the worst of the healing is now over. The stronghold of self hate is one that is very hidden in many of my children. It is why you have felt so tortured in the thoughts you have had. Understand this my Son. I love you and care about you. I can see the inside of you in ways you cannot. I see the need. I do not make you fight and strive for freedom but I must make you evolve to it. I cannot just always boirikyou on the head with truth, sometimes you must discover it as you are walking with me. This one my child was the most difficult one for you to bare. Self hatred is a deep seeded emotion within the darkness of the Soul. We have exposed it now to light and commanded it to leave, which it did. It had directed many of your thought patterns. Miserable my Son wasn't it? It was from the added lies of the enemy upon you throughout your life that would cause you to hate who you are and what you do. This is a formidable situation to deal with. You have suffered long and hard to root it out of your life. I had to do this with you so you would see the depth of what has happened to you. Over time it has caused you depression, and empty and worthless feelings. Np more! Bind that pain! Worthless ideas that the enemy has shot into you. Blood tip them and send them back. This is a breakthrough day for you at a time when you were about to give up. It locked and blocked you from moving ahead. It had to be discpvered by you. It had to be suffered by you. Now it is exposed and broken and pulled out. Learn of what it has robbed you of with lies. You will now have joy and comfort . I command you to indulge yourself. That is my will. Out of darkness into the light. See where this life has taken you and where I have taken you. Reflect reread and write. I will inspire you. The heavy is all over my beloved, develop you now into a life.

The things you question me about are doubt in your mind from the reality of what you are going through and the oppression around you from your sensitive spirit. You my Son, as you will always be my Son, are beaten up with the combination of healing and the few attachments that have come upon you before. You are angry at me because you don't have all the answers to what I am doing. I am caring for you in ways that you need to be cared for, not necessarily that you would want. I have to heal you fully first Son. Write this, I will become stronger with you. You have got to be better! Yes, you are obediently going along with all my guidance, but your soul is starting to buck and rebel agonist the length of time and the suffering you have done and the life that went on around you. I tell you truthfully you have missed nothing of significance. I vow to you it is your perceptions of what you cannot have because of

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this stage of healing that you feel this pain. It will pass soon now my Child. I know it hurts deep - I will not put you through more now. I had to remove this aspect of your memory this way. Some things are removed over time. This time for removal from your memory and mind was intensified and shortened !put still most complete. You also question your faith and belief that what we write is truth, and that I will not slip one in on you later. I am truth but yes I do manipulate thins as I need to for your betterment, It may be painful but it will be for your betterment overall. I am healing things about you now my Son. I always go where the need is. You are disappointed about how sullen you still feel. I tell you again this was a deep but necessary healing. I wanted all self doubt out of you forever. I had to go deep but how you will help the kingdom and how you will live life will be greatly super'or. You are cleaned out now to your core of memories and thought patterns. I pushed you too far my Son, you are weary now of what has to be done at all. I let too much happen to my child. I am sorry. I see the scars that your time frame of waiting has left upon you. Please understand I wilts restore you and bring you joyfulness now. I will add back in the things I removed from you so you would rest. I will rebuild and refill you carefully, a little slowly now, but completely.

12/7/98

I did pursue you to come here to be with me today my Son. i know how important this time is for you to be refilled and to be healed by me from the ravages of this world, and i do mean ravages. When you are here it shows me you are so seeking me. I hear and honor all of your prayers that you put to me, any time of the day. When you are troubled in the early mornings as you have been I also clearly here those prayers as well. When i tell you so often 1 am with you' how could 0 not then hear every thought your soul has? Here when we have quiet times away from everything that can distract one is when the time spent together is most valuable. I can commune so much better here with you when we are not distracted by the world. You need healing now and you are being healed now because i know what the needs are. For you to feel the healing is the manifestation of the power of the spirit for you. i want you to feel the gentle feelings and the soothing voice and the calming attitude that can be felt here. What you feel and hear is more real to you and builds your faith and belief system up. i am for building up my loved one. i watch you and know what you need. That is why I told you before to write that you were obedient to come here when you got here. I wanted to tell you of this and the `need' and accepted need you must have to feel better by being alone with me. This can be anywhere but is needs to be away from the distraction that your flesh has. i have helped you to discover this and you know you have felt the things i am writing to you about over and over again. i will still provide for you all you need but this is a private special time for you and I that will fulfill a need of the spiritual kind.

i want to be comfortable and at peace here. All of the things you have written about in these pages i honor as being my inspired words to you, to perhaps share someday but for now for you my Son. I will build your self worth back up properly and completely. I will deliver you from the years of oppression that the world had you in bondage through. i will heal the damage to your body from these situations that have been visited upon you. i will uphold you during the times of trial and keep secret for you things that others need not know. I will protect you from things both of this world and not of this world as you know them from bringing harm to you. I will cut off ties and lies that the enemy would level agonist you or your family lineage that would open any door for oppression. I will keep all promises to you written over these months. i will guide all your paths and steps and prayers and words if needed to bring you to your hearts desire for your walk throughout this life. This is an ongoing thing my Son. We will stay close to bring it to completion. I will also test end train you in vast ways that will make you a better person. i will anoint you for powerful things that you will do in my name that will make you feel complete. I will make you joyful and happy with fulfillment in your soul that will make this time of waiting worthwhile. i have called to you my Son, and you have answered. I have healed you of so many things in your life it is easy to lose track of the amount of them. Look not to what had to be done now my Son, look to what will be. I did so much in you in so many ways that don't `show' to the outside world but are so important to your inside world, You must accept healing now as being both mostly done and necessarily so. i do care so much for you and

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much for you and what you do and who you think you are I can't and won't let you go until you are complete. I have watched you go through these trials and times of sorrows and I pause to reflect of the growth and stumbling of my creation. I do not like some of it of course but then I reflect at what could be different. My children do suffer for the words sake, but also for the worlds sake. That is the frenzied pace that the world has held. More is not better, and rushing ahead will lose track of life and what it takes to have enjoyment in it. Envy and jealousy as you have discovered are such a burden upon happiness in your heart and soul. The evil one has established the rules of a carnal society that is based upon greed and wantonness. You my child are tearing yourself away from those standards. That pleases me s much, and you are doing it in a time when all emphasis is upon what you have and what you have done. I will show you to be ritchious and honorable. Others in this world that are called by my name are still too involved with the needs of the flesh. Few are truly and I say truly willing to rely on me for their needs. I have put you into this position my Son. I know it is uncomfortable for now for you to be here in the work situation. The confusion situation, the energy situation and the creativity situation. You feel worthless and that you are valueless in fact, You are not! You have your value in Christ Jesus my Son. I have not taken as much away from many of my servants as I have from you but believe your heavenly Father I am doing what is right for you. You will see more and more of how this world and it's nets and webs of money will strangle and control my creation in such evil ways that I never wanted. I will not hurt you my precious child. I will not see you hurt for these training lessons. The training will be for your benefit. My son Jesus in the time on earth did not deal with money. Why not? My child you are becoming more Christ like during the times you are walking as hp did. I will honor that and uphold you as you walk as he did. I am most happy with you. I will protect you during these vulnerable times, these times of resurrecting you. That is what I reveal to you today. The time here is like resurrecting your life. Some has to die... Some has to be given up... much has to be healed... all has to be made new. I am here to surprise you Son of my creation, holder of my Spirit. You are mine find I love you so.

12/8/98

Son you are fatigued by the feelings you fight in the flesh. I would have you bind the flesh and feel the spirit with me. The lack of peace is from the bondage of fear, the anxiety of the thoughts you have had. Thoughts of the past, not of now, not of rebuilding. I am making you a new creation, a new creature so you may begin to feel a new way.

I am sorry you hurt so much now from your feelings. The past is having an effect on the here and now. Abandonment is a deep rooted problem when fear and anxiety accompany it. I will notabandon you. You will have the Spirit with you throughout your life. Turn to the anger feelings you have for the situation of abandonment and feel them for a time. When you have felt the feelings of anger, rage, hatred and grief for a time then you can bind them and give them to me. Give them all to me my hurting child. I will take these pains and I will loose compassion and understanding and forgiveness within you. I will guide you in all you need to understand about this and heal your broken heart. It is valid to feel this way. Feelings are there for a reason, they are there for ballast so you do not `blast' someone. They are a safety valve for you and others. I see so clearly into you now my Son it is a problem we will heal quickly. It is exposed to the light now within you and the truth of it is known. They have abandoned you my Son, that is why you feel my rage so close to ypu because I am close, so close to you we feel each others emotions. The wound of this emotion is opened up again and again when it isn't deft with. It is not deft with from fear, fear of reproach, fear of confrontation. I have told you I will protect you and I will. When the attacks begin to come back to you I will stop those that are too strong. po not fear the truth my child, the the truth relayed to others sets people free it doesn't create new wounds or open up old wounds again. You need this at times. It can be with forgiveness yes but at times but at times it must be done. Your parents have hurt you. You feel the hurt so deeply you do not even want to write about it with me. You want the generic style of writing to go forth here with me without `personal' indications getting in the way. You want this so that you can share the writings some day with others. That is not my first intent my hurting Son. You are my first intent, not others welfare. Not others benefit, your benefit. These are not to be a many thousand issue published to help others understand God's relationship first. I- is first - My Son Pis First, 5o,'s betterment,

So n 's worth this writing , So,u needs this writing , So"J wants this writing for himself but he doesn't feel that too much yet. yod my Son is hurting and wants help from his Heavenly Father but only if he can sacrifice himself in some way so he can be worthy of the benefits here. fie, only deserves a mention nqt the intention of and in these writings - Right? No my child, that is not right, you are wrong to think that way about YfyrseJc ue, has been hurt by the cycle of abandonment and worthlessness so much that it is reflected in these writings. Think of you first my Son. Expose the wound to the light of truth and healing will take place. You are so worth this time and the value of this writing my sweet innocent hurting child I must shorty you your value. I will have you lock away forever these papers to show you they have been done for you. You must understand how valuable you are from the trials you 'live already gone through.

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It was the free will of others around you and your free will that has caused the pain in your life that has brought you here. It will be this pain and the experience that has brought you to me and I will use those experiences to help others someday maby-However, I seek to heal the pain you have felt and are feeling. I want is under the blood, which it is now and I want it left there. I DO NOT want the old wounds of abandonment fear and anxiety opened up by your thoy{ghts or actions - or - others actions upon you. Bind those now and put them at the 'feet of Jesus. This is hard for you to write about my Son but it will lead to great strides for growth and final healing for your past hurts and memories. I want the letter written and sent. There is a responsibility that has been eluded by your parents that you need lifted off and they need to take upon themselves. It involves the issues t at are whirling around in your mind and heart sweet child. Put them to paper, refine hem. I will guide you now and you will be free from that bondage. You will feel this in a great way. I have trained you to let go, write and let go and the result will be freedom and peace. Rely on me my Love.

12/14/98

Yes my Son take up your pen and write. Let the words flow from you onto paper of my inspired word to you. You are within my will perfectly my child. I want you right where you are. I feel your pain and I hear your prayers of frustration. The feelings and thoughts are for cleaning up and out the old hurts you have. Fear not my child you will not offend me with your words. I want you to be free to tell me exactly how you are feeling. I have gone very deep into you my child over these tomes of healing to remove all and I do mean all of the influences that have brought you pain. It has been very hard on your life to do this. You are feeling despondent now and you are frankly 'getting totally tired' of waiting to be healed and have things added into your life. You are angry at me for the loss of life you feel you have missed and the tormenting thoughts in your mind. The tormenting thoughts are the worst in the morning when you are awakened by them but also throughout the day negative sad thoughts about what is wrong and what should have been. My child should is just a judgment of what might have been. Start looking at your situation as this is here and now, I cannot change the past, I am guided and controlled by the Lord for the here and now, and the future is in the hands of the Almighty. Do not feel bad about the thought patterns you have had, this has been such a difficult time in your life. Again I tell you the truth this is the most difficult time in your life for you to move through. It wouldn't have been better at a different time and it cannot be lessened in the severity of what is happening. I am sorry but it has to hurt to work out this way. All of the times at home were for building up, they were not for waste or waiting for something to happen. You my child are worth the healing and restructuring and strengthening of your mind. You were burned out totally and exhausted emotionally and strung out medically from the wrong, strong mind altering medicines. The evil one tried to destroy you, get you tangled up in his webs of lies. It has been as strong call upon your life Daryl. I know you face things in your life that continue to harass you. They will be cleared out so soon my Son and you will feel better. I would not have you feeling badly any more than what was absolutely necessary. You are fighting the healing by not accepting what is being done to and with you. I am forcing you to be obedient within my will so you can be totally healed. It is always darkest before the dawn my child if you would like a phrase of comparison. When you feel this lonely, and you do why fight the rest to get better? You are influenced by the people around you but remember I am there to protect you from those types. It has hurt and hurt and hurt but it is getting better and it will get more and more better for you. I try to encourage you in many ways but you must rest for these times. I am not healing you from a cold, I am rebuilding you. It is the best way to do it. It is the most humane way to do it.

Your home will be there with all the things to do at anytime. Your home is just a thing not a creation. Treat it as a thing to be dealt with later, it is not important, you are! You must believe this resting and quiet time is absolutely necessary to you so that you will then get better. I have told you before carefully that it had been a life threatening

situation for you. I do not want you out of the world yet my child. There is so much reward for you to participate in that is what I am rebuilding for you and yes there are so

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many people you will help my Son. I feel you struggle with your feelings today like something you have to break out of. I hold you closer still to me as we write these words out that you don't need to break out of anything at all my child. By not accepting what is happening to you it is becoming more painful for you. Let go and let God. Trust in your Heavenly Father to hold you close and heal you. Yes it is taking a long time from your flesh perspective but the time is soon over and you will be so strong it will truly surprise you. All of your desires you will have my Son. Unhinge yourself from your fears and worries, your envy and should have been. Rest with me and in me. Like the oak tree that I showed you in a vision of it loosing all of the `old' leaves and new growth is started, and a new life will begin for you, is my promise. Wonderful life, new and strong. I am controlling all, let it go to me. Bind the frustration and the striving to do it yourself.

Hold on! I will not let you down. I will be with you forever and ever. Let the world and the flesh go. I am making time for you to have life better this way. Try to do the things that have been set up but feel no condemnation in what you do. You are worthy of rest, worthy of health. It is uncomfortable to put off rewards for the future but you are truly storing up blessings. My Son I don't forget, I do reward, I do recompense. I am the Lord of healing. I will restore you to a better self than you were. I will free you from the bonds of this world. I will free you of the mind set of worth and value ever placed upon people. They ` are ` people, they just ` are `. They are not to be measured by what they do or judged by what they have or have accomplished. You will learn more of this as the bondages are taken off your thoughts. These are difficult lessons to learn my Son. Especially when you are going through breaking off so many others from your life also. Slow down and hold on, we will be complete soon. Watch foe the positives in your life. We are building brand new, not just adding on to a structure. It will be worth it. You are worth it.

12/15/98

The happy times will come soon my child. I see you struggle agonist the overwhelming moods you have along this time or restructuring your feelings and emotions and my heart cries as yours does. It is hard to endure the things you have my child. No one can know how much torment you have been through to reclaim your feelings. You will remember if through a happier mood and outlook soon my Son. I promise you . I have speeded up the process of healing and restructuring your mind to a very fast pace. That is why you are hurting more. I knew you wanted the happiness you knew to be returned to you quickly. Your life in the spirit does come with a cost. You must be our and true and be cleared out of this worlds problems that harass you. I am watching you so closely and guiding all the things that affect you you need not worry.

I hear your doubt about your value of being healed and the length of time this takes for you and I to go through. My Son bind the time if you need to but especially bind the inadequate feelings you have had about not 'doing things' for now. You will notice I said for now, and I called them things. They are just that, things, not a person in pain and worn out. When these `things' are done what then? They will be replaced by other things to do. Isn't it better to stop while healing altogether then to face a never ending supply of things to do? It is also your choice to do or not to do, your choice to worry or not to worry about the things to do. I will keep you within my will and especially within my protective wing while you finish this last area of freedom seeking healing. You my Son feel inferior to all of the things that are around you because of this healing time but I tell you the truth where would those around you be. without you? It is both an aspect to keep you quiet throughout these times but also a mind set of importance that you are at the center of the creation around you. Your home, family, relationships, all the things around you belong to you. You can manipulate them the way YOU want to. Take some strength in that my Son. You do have control over your own situations even tho I have taken some of your perceptions away from you in these areas. In times to come we will explore more of this but think on this my child. You are the director of what you feel and do within and without of my will. I trust you to do the good thing. I know you very well indeed. I will not let you fall.

You pursue me in the area of finishing this healing and yet you have some trepiditation about what will be when you are better. I will guide you carefully, how could I not after being so careful with you over these last months? Hold to your faith in me that grows on and on. I will not give you more than you can bare. In fact I will purposefully give you less to do, my yoke is easy my Son. My word is true my Son. My love is coming through my Son. 1 may seem silent to you at times my child. It is because in my way I know what is best for you to go through at a time. Never fear I am always near to you. I may want you to repent or seek me harder or I may want you to build the foundations of trusting yourself and your Christlikeness. It is not that I am not there, but as a father watches silently close by his chill to see the growth of that child.

12/18/98

Ask me to increase your faith my Son. I will do it for you. Your faith was slipping before with regards to how you continue to feel. I am doing many things with you at one time. I will not give you a report on all of them but I will share a few and their prospective intensity. We are dealing with your memories of abandonment and the way it ties to the current day and letting go of the situation, assessing responsibilities and the telling of feelings. You are fighting this from fear of further abandonment. We are also putting the flesh world behind and establishing a strong spirit influence, that is why you want to hear me more. You will hunger for it. I have kept you confused and lethargic to teach you things about yourself you need to know. I am healing your dream state to make your life bearable. I am breaking the cycle of do it for yourself from you and turn away from the world. There are more things I do but you are progressing just as I intended. I have told you about the rebuilding of you in many ways. I share again that yours was not to be a refinishing you. It was to be a complete rebuilding of your thoughts and reactions, your emotions and your feelings. It is truly almost through the tortured, lonely feelings you have had. I would never leave you in a half done situation my love. Even that you fear I would that is why I had you request more faith. I am not giving you many glimpses of your future because I want it to be brighter than you can imagine. I have had to learn from you as I learned of you while we were healing during these times. I will recompense my teaching helper. You have been kind-and understanding of your father and have not taken out your wrath out n me. Your situation was unique and dreadful to cope entirely with. I did patch in a few things that I have needed to and I have missed some calls on you but I know that I know that I know I am doing right for you. I have kept you locked up in this world by my will. I know now how to help others from the unique things we have been through. I will I promise you that I will recompense you for the things lost or missed my Son. I am holding all the things for your safe return to life. You will have joy and happiness and the desires of your heart will be filled. I must continue to show you to let go and let God do this for you. You cannot do these things. You want to but you can not. Give yourself and your cares and your responsibilities to me. I will take them for you. Give me all and the burdens will flow from you to me. My vow to you. I want you free, healed, then back in full life. My way yes, but remember I am the way.

12/22/98

I am here as you give all of these pains to me. I am taking them even when you do not perceive that I am. Things are happening within you for healing and for the restoration of your mind. I will show you examples along this day. The vines and webs and tentacles around you totally were prayed and cut between you and the old haunts of your younger life and the things that hang on to you and the people that hold to you. You were angry... you fear being angry with me. Do not fear. First, I can take it, I am big you know. Second I know you need to express it. It is not actually anger although it feels like you have a ton of it. It is hurt, deep dark painful gut wrenching hurt. Hurt from abandonment and rejection. Hurt from abuse and loneliness. Hurt from words and feelings and yes attacks upon you. I will stop the attacks upon you now again as I promised. The hurt makes you feel ill, it makes you want to give up. You want to be done with it my tired child, the hurt exhausts you. Do you see how much of an impact this emotion plays on your life? Do you see why you need your Heavenly Father to heal you from it? I know you can see this very well. Even though this makes you so angry at me from the hurt you feel we must visit these feelings again my Son. If they effect you as they do I want them gone for good! I want my child healed of the early childhood hurts and the scars of these memories removed. They have to be worked through, not around. I will move them through your mind until they are gone. My angels are watching over you now. They have their swords drawn and are cutting off the pain as each thought is processed. This is very important just as you are to me. This must be done now my Son to make you free. You know you feel the heaviness of these emotions upon you and how painful and actually sick you feel from these. You have been sick way down inside for a long time. Now it is exposed to the light, now you are to be set free from fear, loneliness, abandonment, anxiety and rejection. You are responsible for none of these my Son, I am. Give them back to me and I will take them for you. I want you to be free of them. They harass you in the early morning and show themselves in your thoughts throughout the day. I want them gone! You are broken before me and I honor that from you. You still hold deep roots of these feelings hidden inside you. They are going now but I am complete in the cleansing. I will go to your core to clean you out. I want you free! You hid all of this well but I want you free! Your soul thinks you can bare this burden of hurtful memories. No! I want you free! Bind them and give them to me. All the things others said, give them to me I want you free! All of the actions taken agonist you, give them to me, I want you free! All of the thoughts you have had about others, give them to me I want you free!

Hurt from abandonment proliferates the center of the situation. It is held to you by the fear and anger - this is a stronghold of emotional pain. This stronghold is one of the most enduring of negative emotions. Each side feeds on another. Bind the corners now and give the entire area to me. Good job my Son.

Hurt from rejection is another nasty area that the evil one establishes strongholds in. They are sided by rage and apathy. They intertwine around all others and lay waste to reality by switching from truth to presumptions in thought and emotion process. Bind these evil corners and give the mass to me. They held and are gone.

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These things did hold onto you but now let them go. Many things will leave then that were connected to you in the supernatural realm. That is always good to fill with the Holy Spirit and cleanse with the blood of the Lamb.

Hurt from envy is a third stronghold that has haunted you. The two others sides of this area are lies and deceit. This is not a standard stronghold because of the way you are put together and your life experiences. You must bind these corners and the ideology to me. This stronghold was resistant to all of your warfare because of the strength the evil one gave to it. It is exposed to the light now and must go in Jesus name.

This was more of that 'I can't believe it is real ' stuff. The sour taste in your mouth is a residual effect of things leaving. This was real my Son. You have faced it and even written these down for a record. I am most proud of your endurance my Son. The roots of these holds on your soul are pulled out and the areas are cloaked and sealed with the blood of Jesus. You are more free as I promised. The evil one used these strongholds to springboard into your sub-conscience mind during sleep. Slam the door on him now, this road is now closed!

This healing will excel you in our kingdom, not just catch you up. Obedience is for growth. Who else has done what you are doing? not many, You are tired now, rest in me, and be free. This will seem more real to you now. We had to move through these things.

Bind anger now and loose peace.

12/23/98

Let me lift you up child. I can hear and I watch you struggle within the parameters I have drawn for you. These tormenting thoughts have to be brought up to have them cut off, and they are severe. I do not want you to look at them again because they have already tormented you enough. I am cutting them off with your help my Love. It does hurt very much, you can hardly write about it. It will be done and you will be better, and you will be NOT feeling this way again. The healing of a mind is most difficult my Son. Why do you think this world has so many things wrong? Most will not have their minds healed as you have submitted yourself to. I am careful with you but it is a severe healing to do on you. I hear your struggled thoughts of giving up and begging me for mercy. This day is a difficult one my child. I know you do not want to even think about depression but the thought patterns that have brought your mind to a state of depression are being cut off. The thought patterns have been formulated over forty years of your life. They are now at the center of your rage at all the things around you including me. Do not fear my child I WILL take it for you and they ARE the last of this horrible healing. I have pushed and pushed you in this healing. I have pushed too far again but I want it done in you also. I will not trick you. I will not find more things, I will not have you go through more. You will not have to be prayed for or do deliverance yourself my Son, these things have been done. This is the core of your hurt going out now to be cut off. Believe in me I will not put you through more. I want you to rest after this healing also. Be good to yourself. No one and I do mean no one can imagine what you have gone through. I have never done this much reconstruction on one of my servants and held them to my standards before. You are the strongest for having gone through this. Apathy is here with you now. Please bind it and give it to me. Thank you my Son. Do you see how how anger and healing effect the way we write with each other. This is the dark night of your soul and I am bringing you through it. You will be happier and ready for life my Son. I am sorry it hurts so much and effects even our perceptions. I cannot surpass your primitive emotions of protection when you are hurting so much. It will pass quickly now Son. It has been hard to bare. When it is now soon over our relationship be within fragrant fields of flowers with me. I will not subject you to more. You are broken before me. I must build you back up now my Son. You are my chosen one, I am so pleased. I will not keep you in pain. You will be free.

12/24/98

You are more calm now my child. I am with you as I promised I would be, throughout all the time of your life. I know you are frustrated about the times when you do not feel that I am close to you. Those healing times are so severe that your primitive reaction I have told you about takes over. I am there watching even more carefully but you do not feel me as close. The time that this happens will be over soon and the blocks will not be there. My Son you have endured this changing around of your mind in ways that have made me so proud of you and what my creation is capable of. There are times yes when this life you are living does not seem real. How can a person's head be so turned around? Try not to look back to what was with the pain, but to what will be with you feeling better and better. It has been real my child. If you look yourself at the situations that have occurred in your life and their severity you can see why I came to you. Your life needed massive mind healing my child. You had had years of oppression from where you did not even know. You had years of abuse and downgrading that would have broken many. You had failures and hurtful things added to your already hurting mind. You had a family background lineage situations that would have crippled many many of my children in fact. Stress from society upon you pulling you further down, medicine in your life to 'help' with the stress, over prescribed, underhanded by the enemy. So called therapy for years with people who are trained in how to keep coming back and relying on yourself and your limited intellect to fix yourself. How many things in these last 15 lines have you experienced my child? All of them haven't you? You are hurting from the world, I am your savior, helper from outside of this world. We are going to overcome this world and the things that are so harmful and hurtful in it so you can be free. It is a long and difficult process. It is a not a process I do for just anyone. I judge need and worth and heart and spirit before I call to one to be with me. You my child did need me and I need you to be happy. Not shot down, not ripped up, not with a gun at your temple to escape, not racked with pain. It has taken time my Son to bring out issue after issue of distress from deep inside of you to the open so it can be dealt with by me. It has happened to you my Son. You must believe that. In your heart you do believe and in your Spirit you do believe very well. You have put your life on hold in this world to be with me and to follow just what I have asked you to so so that you could be healed. That was a sacrifice for you to make. You were tired and burdened but your faith was there. Now months later you are weary of the time but you are still fighting to be healed. No my precious Son it cannot take forever. In your limited thoughts it feels like forever but I have tried to keep things going in your life so you would not feel so isolated as you have. This has changed your life my Child, more than others will ever realize but more than you can see for now. Some things my Son cannot be perceived by you as clearly as they are to others. Your faith and grace will move you through these times and you will come out of this so much better than even you could hope or dream. I see the sacrifice you have made to me so that you could be trained yes and healed yes. I will reward that for you. We are working through self worth and futility with envy and depression process to clean out also. Why do you feel so bad? Look at what is being

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done. I keep banging these things (and they hurt) out of you one after another so that you can be done with this dreadful time. I have not let up on you hardly at all. It has been your burden to bare. I am sorry I know it has hurt a lot. I tell you the truth my child , this is real, you are being healed every step of the way by me. It is deep cleansing of your mind and body and soul and spirit which is very difficult to do correctly Not many have gone through such a mind reaming. The circumstances in your life and the experimental medications you took and their effect on deteriorating your thought process to the point of burn out and dependence on chemicals to live have brought you to me. The quality of your life was gone and your body and neuron receptors in your brain were broken down and almost ready to give up. I could see no way for you to get out without me. I was there yes, a severe road to realization, but on a life preserving line. It was that bad. It is over now, the threat to your life is now over. We are building you back up slowly, safely, securely. You are worth it. You are frustrated that it will not ever get better. It will my Son. It has been such a difficult thing to go through but you are through it. I will not do more now, I will not subject you to more now, or later. The softness that you seek from me will be there. I am planning things all the time for you. I do not forget the promises I have made to you. You are weary now because of the closeness we have had and the writing we have done and the healing times you have gone through. I did overburden you with healing so you would feel better for these days, but it has made you hurt in ways I did not want. I am learning from you my Son, I am sorry but I at times cannot be exact for what your desires are in the here and now. I am doing you complete. With your dreams, your thoughts, your actions, your anxieties, your family and the society it is difficult. Hold to to me Son. It will be over soon. Seek me and I will break the barriers down to be near you. I know you need that more and more. I will not let you down. I will be there for you. I will not fail in this restoration of you. You will be free and happy, joyful and you will have a permanent peace that passes all understanding. I can see now you are worth that tired child. The work and obedience and submission you have brought to me will be rewarded. My vow to you.

12/26/98

It just had to be done to and for you my Son. I could not let you and the others that would be involved in your life suffer without you on this earth with them. It is a free will choice for your life you as my creation have. I do not want to show you drama of a Christmas Carol to see how important you are to this world. Your creative mind can explore that. I had to do this healing. Begin to accept that. It had to be done. It is out of your hands. You are in the Father's hands. You are being cared for by your creator. Put away the attitude that there were options, there were not any options my child. You were going down and even you could not see how far you would drop. I could see and I had to convince you to turn to me. Did I do a good job? I let the hordes of hell go on you to force you into some things that others do not or cannot even comprehend. It will all show in your life and the hereafter for what you have learned and what you have done for the kingdom of God. You know that things in your life with regards to the supernatural world were extreme. I cannot show all of my servants what actually exists out there just yet, there would be a panic. I used the pervasiveness of the evil one to really get your attention and to teach you fast how to deal with the evil one and the attacks. You know more than most now my Son. You have learned, experimented, felt things, and been hurt more than most also. It is all real my Son. All the power you can imagine you have, you do have! all the anointing that will break the yokes that you choose and are led by me to break will be broken in my vow to you. I do not take the power back as you know. My plans are for you and my heart is for you to go on as you are into the plans I have set up for you. Your faith and belief in me and all that I am doing with you is being tested to the maximum. As I guide your thoughts to what I want you to perceive you begin to perceive you are being manipulated. You are not angered by this but rather you welcome this. Yes! guided by the spirit of God. I am so happy you can realize I am there with all of my guidance when you give me your free will. You are set apart by me for what I want to do with you and for you. You are special, unique, one of a kind, or at least one of a few that have been called by me to do great things. Do not fear this my Son. It will exactly fit what you are capable of. Do not feel unworthy of this call on your life. I am trying to build up your concept of worthiness throughout this healing time. It is a difficult thing to heal when you were so burdened and broken. You are special, someone has to go first or be at the front roll of this call. This I tell you again is real. You have been chosen because of your value and your sacrifice. I know who to choose. It is not blasphemous to feel special and be proud of what you are and what you have done, or to write about it. There is not one person in my creation that has your talents and powers. There is not one person in my creation that has your heart. There is not one person in my creation that has gone through exactly what you have. Do you see where I am going with this explanation? Each one of my children is special in their own way. Some have more of one thing, some have more of another. My Son it all works out fair in the end. Everyone gets the same. It doesn't really matter at all here in heaven because all truth is made known. You are in envy because you long for truth of what was and is fair.

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You struggle because of the lack of faith. Some are getting more Father. I want my share now Father. How come they have so much more Father? It does not seem fair Father. That's right! It does not 'seem' fair because you do not know the truth of what each one has. You are comparing yourself to others again and again. Compare as though you are treated the exact same. Have faith first that I do not play favorites. Then see where the comparing comes from... parents? yes. Society? yes. The evil one? yes! Now bind the comparison to others. Envy will flee without comparison. I will help you day by day to rid you of your self denigration by comparing yourself to others and how that has deteriorated your self image, self worth and self esteem. Very, very few of my children have drawn as close to me as you have Son. I am pouring out my Spirit in these times and I know just how to do it. Very few of my Sons have learned as you have. Your storage of knowledge is very vast. Most of all is that you `know' me. That is more valuable than anything on earth my Love. It has come with a cost - or sacrifice my child. I am bringing you to fullness with Christ just as I am with others in my creation. All special, all unique, you my child are a challenge as I have told you. This is new area learned my Son and I am learning with you. I will reward my Son. I, as you want this time to be over so we can be closer also. I will cut down the blockages until there are no more. The healing time will go on and on because my children are works in progress. I am a work in progress also, the continued evolving is for perfection. I will add back your energy slowly my Son. You will not again feel as totally fatigued as you have. You will start to feel the difference this week. I am sorry it has been so painful for you to continue in this enduring way to heal. Believe me it will be so worth it for you as you will know life as before and it will be truly a joy for you with laughter and much happiness. I will add your creativeness and passion for life back in now also. You have done the steps you have needed to have healthy thought processes. You will feel the steps of progress as you go through them. Directed energy will come to you. Do not fear, you will not have to pursue life , it will occur for you. I will reward you for your training obedience time my Son. I will bless you in ways that will add to your joy. I will rejoice with you at how beautiful life things in life can be. You have the innocence of a child with your heart my Son. I have waited also for you to be healed so we may enjoy our relationship more. Go more calmly mow my child, do bind and cast out comparisons and look at your worth as valid. You are wanted by many, my children pursue who I have pursued. It is the love and care those with Christ walk with. This season of harsh healing draws to a close now.

12/28/98

It is so much easier to work with and through you when you are submitted to me Son. You do submit yourself to me in wonderful ways but when you give in totally to my will and guidance in your life as you have we can achieve so much more. The flesh wants to hang on child. Do not feel badly about this, it is natural to feel strong about owning your life. When Jesus died his flesh was crucified, it was totally given over to me in death. You have felt a release when you have given up your thoughts and body to me and allowed me to do the work I need to in you. It will help you to heal a little faster if you concentrate on this when you go throughout your day and when you go to sleep also. Give up the battle with the flesh and the Spirit will take over with peace. The opposite of peace is worry... Your flesh worries, not your Spirit. This will help you consider how much your flesh is trying to take over your healing. The evil one also gets his fingers into you by manipulating your flesh and then your thoughts into worry. Bind the flesh and the worry must go. The confusion also will go my Son. I have had to stop you from worry my child. It is robbing you of your peace. I had to do this in my time also. I know it has taken a long time to do these things and you have had so many distractions during these times of healing. With your life style changes and your home and all the things there having to be put on hold. As I have told you before these healings and the time they took `had' to be done, there was no option. You have had me here and throughout your life guiding and protecting you but also holding you back from doing things that would have worn you out and frustrated you so much you would have felt like more of a failure. Someone had to stop you Champ. It had to be me. The things that just `had' to be done waited didn't they? I told you they would wait because you were worth the time to heal while they were waiting. They are things, hundreds of things, to do over and over again to make the shell look better when, the life form inside is dying. What difference does a beautiful fur coat make on a animal that is dying? It makes no difference at all. Your home and all the things to do inside and around it are not the least bit important to do until - I - say you are ready and healed to be able to do them. Why take a chance on the life form inside the shell? Look at the worries about your home and the anxieties about `how will it look' to others you have had over time. I have 'FORCED' you into rest and heal mode because you are the most important thing in your world. I will SLOWLY move you to more understanding of these concepts and give you more energy to do the things that can be done. I have had you discover that through all these months of healing it was you the life form inside that had to be the most important. You were worthy of the time to do all of this otherwise your life is just burden after burden. I did give you a bad taste in your mouth now for worry and for unachieved worthiness. You had to be worth waiting for. You are not a thing to preform. You are a creation of wondrous beauty, love and thought. You are creativeness and compassion, you are my heart of Christ.

12/29/98

You honor me with your quiet thanksgiving and the praise you have for me as you consider the writings we have done. I am always here with you, a promise I continue to restate to you over and over for your peace of mind. I will be with you my Son, why would I not be after we have gone through such harsh healing times and I want to be here for the good times also. I am needed still by you but the perceptions will change some as you get better. Do not fear what is to come my Child. I can see you are still comparing what was in your life before to what is now and what will be in the future. Bind the comparison my Son. Give those thoughts to me and let go of the fear. I will provide for you all the things that make life enjoyable for you. I will provide all. You fear having to struggle through life as the life is a job to be achieved. That is one of the main things getting at you in the morning. The frustration of having to do it yourself. I will not abandon you even when you feel better. Believe in me Son, I want you for the good times, not to leave you when they start. I will not abandon you ever! I will be creative with you about how we will do endless things together. I see how much you need me, and how much you want me. I will not leave you my child, my love, my heart. All of these times and writings have been valid Son. I see you just as you are and I accept you just as you are, no need to change for me. Have we not been through the worst time of your life together? I say that in the past tense also my child. Although the healing is a work in progress and other smaller things still need to be worked out they are small compared to what has gone on up to now. You were strong and brave to carry on throughout these mind torturing times. We have changed your perceptions of things, your thought processing abilities, your opinions, your abilities, your time frames, your sensory action, your creativeness, your spirituality, your sense of right and wrong, your intellect, your attitudes, and much more. Do you think that was difficult for you to go through? All of this healing and being with me is for a reason. Your belief in me has been tested, your patience for this to occur has been tested. You have moved from level to level and now yes you are climbing out of the black hole of the dark night of your soul we have written about. Yes, write more of this positive attitude outlook. It will feel better now my Son. The sad times of perception changes are drawing to a close. I will tell you of things that happened and why they happened when you are prepared for these truths. For now allow yourself the credit and the self praise for having gone through the bad times. The hard healing days will not be as hard anymore as they had been. The perception changes in your mind have caused you the most pain. I am sorry for the pain you have had to endure. It was necessary and severe. I will show you later in time why it had to be done. You will feel the lifting of the sorrow now and you will continue to build up. Do not yet compare yourself at all to others. You are my work in progress. I know how wonderful you will be so soon. I will give you the beautiful traits you have missed for this time of healing slowly. Do not fear, all will return to you.

12/30/98

I have called you to be separate as my word states my precious Son. Your spirit responds with `whew, you sure have'. I know it is hard to be pulled out of life and put up on a shelf for a season while I am healing, changing, and teaching you. I am so pleased you choose to be obedient to me although you were in a very receptive state of mind the way and time I had called you. You have always had a choice my beloved of staying with me or moving on with your own soul-type and flesh life. You hunger for me as I hunger for the relationship with you. Your life in the Spirit will have more benefits than you could ever imagine. Let the world go by for now my beloved to be with me and you will feel this peace you are feeling now for extended times. I see your frustration at watching the world go by but remember you are establishing our relationship which will endure for eternity. My plans for my children to seek me are varied and at times difficult but I am worth it. I see your heart and I know your heart wants you to continue on as you have been. You are being directed by your heart my Child. I am very happy you are letting your heart and your Spirit direct you along this most difficult time in your life. Are you not happy to realize that I as your creator have shared with you the most difficult of your life is now almost over? That would say first you are almost through and second you will be through the worst of your entire life. I know that is telling you the future my Son but you need to have the fear of the future removed from you. No, my will or your life will not have you go through the pain and intensity that this last year has placed upon you ever again. You have been through enough of the harshness that this life has put upon you. Draw close to me as we are here yes, but throughout other areas of your life also and I will be there for you every time, in every instance, in every situation. I will not let the things of this world harm you. I want to watch and care for my special Son, the one that is driven be his heart. The things of enjoyment in this world I am having you look away from for now will reward you with a new energy and a new enjoyment when some of them are resumed. I hold a very high standard for you my Son in this world and some of the things you have done are not necessary for you but would also lower the standard I have called you to. It is not with pretension that I tell you of this but prudence. I do not want you assioiating with things that will cause you any uncleanness. My standards are high but so is your calling.

You feel vulnerable yet to the things around your life happening and you want the strength to deal with them. Child, you are progressing just as my will would have you be to become the man I know you want to be. My will is powerful and you give your free will to me so sincerely. Whose will is being done in your life? My powerful will my Son. I can and do adjust persons, actions, attitudes, and feelings all along your life so that the best situation is achieved. Do not fear or feel you are weak. I am guiding you while I am building you back up, while I am guiding others around you with my power. You cannot be weak with Almighty God's will and power driving you. You may find some things are uncomfortable but bind them and give them to me. I am taking every one of the thoughts and feelings you have bound and given to me. You know you have felt them leave you. That is my intention, to take pain from you and to

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and to provide peace for you as your strength comes back to you. You are not as strong yet and this bothers you. I am your strength for now. I am building you stronger slowly through your dreams. Dreams are a very important part of your life. You were robbed of your dreams for many years. That is one of the main reasons your healing time is so extensive. I have wanted you to sleep more and more and yet you could not. It was too uncomfortable for you to sleep with the reactions your body had to adapt to. Dreaming and the healing time that happens when my children dream is more complex than anyone yet realizes. It has taken this long in your healing to even now be able to approach your dreams to heal you. Even now some of these dreams can become so uncomfortable for you they must be changed again and again. I will be healing you with your dreams for a time and healing your dreams along with you. I weave the threads of your entire life back together with care and love my sweet Son. I will be so careful with you, you are a treasure to me. I will make you happy again my Son. I will make you a strong and loving man as my son Jesus was upon this earth. Draw close to me and trust in me. I will restore what this world has taken from you. New growth do I see upon my steady, sturdy, loving oak tree.

12/31/98

Accept my peace upon you, make note of it. I want you to feel the peace you can hold on to and to be aware at how many times it comes to you and long it stays with you. As I look into your future I see you at continual peace. The evil one has robbed your past life of peace and it is something you truly need to enjoy life in this world. My child when peace is not in your life as I am putting it there for you life becomes struggle after struggle. Peace means resting in me as you go about the day. When life becomes so confusing and fast and stressful and fearful the peace is gone. When peace is gone or robbed, there is no healing or rest. I do not want that for my children, and yet this world seems to be moving into that area more and more. Can you imagine how much healing needs to be done that has been pushed away by busy attitudes of my children? As I said yesterday there are different ways for my children to seek me, to find peace will be an important way. The evil one will try to speed up life more and more with a lot of comparison, envy, guilt and fear of condemnation. You my Son will help my children to peace to draw closer to me from this writing and learning. Do embrace the peace and calmness that you feel now at every opportunity that you can, It will be most helpful. These days as we have written about have been very harsh on your life and effect how you feel now. You were not only burned out but the healing even burned you out some also. It is difficult to draw all the aspects of a persons life into order as we need to do with you. There is bound to be adjustments made as we have again and again. My promises I have made to you are the truth. I will restore your energy, I am already doing this. I am restoring it slowly in fact very slowly to your standards but it will increase each day until you are complete. I am also imputing new thoughts of joy and creativeness into your ransacked mind through your dreams. The dreams that are more difficult for you to deal with are the dreams that will remove the confusion that has been in your mind. I tell you the truth my Son, you are not responsible for this time of activity-less time. I have placed it into your life for a time so that my Son could heal. I am handling all the things around your life and the people within your life. I will not let you be hurt by others as you are being built up by me. You are working out the distortions in your mind as you move through these rest and be at peace with me days. I know it troubles your soul to be set apart and to rest so much and to be in the desert and to be in the dark night of your soul for this long. I encourage you to look ahead, I will show you what will be. Begin to dream my child, I will fulfill your dreams for you. This time as you have accepted from me is needed to complete you. It is time for you, just for you, a must for you. People rush through their lives never stopping to hear from me, you have. When their lives are through and they look back at them they are so grieved by what they had missed. They cry out to me why did you not seek after me but the truth is already with them that they choose life in the flesh rather than life in the spirit. You are being healed by the Spirit and guided and protected by the Father. You my Son are my plan, I am holding you apart for my children to look to for guidance. You will have joy so soon, my vow.

Some of the things you have had to give up you perceive as gone. My child your perceptions are looking at the negative not the positive of what and who you are

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in Jesus Christ. You my Child have not lost any of your talent or any of your ability. It is waiting for you to feel better so it can be then reactivated. I would never take your spark for life away from you or the things that cause you to have spark away from you either. I have kept your spark or light as it were under a bushel for a time. It is never lost. I want you to have as many options as possible when you are fully recovered. This is why you still have the vast inventory of antiques. It may seem revolting to you to still have to deal with them but it will be your choice of what makes you feel the best with my help if you wish to do with all of it. You may sell it or just throw it . I want your choice upheld and the many options you may have explored and enjoyed by you. All the items are cleansed my child. You are more free to do as you feel. The The same is true with your home, you have options. I have held you back from `wanting' to do things to your home and having the energy that you have had before to do the things. This feeling and energy level will change soon and you will be restored and then you will move on to freedom and joy with happiness. I will not keep you in this state longer than needed. You my Son will have the peace and simplicity you seek. You will have the comfort of security and completion with the energy to be strong and happy in this life. The plan will complete. I am watching every area. You are number one.